Monday, December 2, 2013

The Problem with Please and Thank You…




Soooooo....the problem with Please and Thank You is…there is no problem with them!  The problem is YOU!  Okay maybe not you, per se…but it’s the spoiled, the rotten, the selfish, the “too comfortable”, and the elitist. Yup…I said it!  The ELITIST…those who are so used to getting what they want that they forget who, what, when, where, and why they received the blessings in the 1st place.

All uh dem!

For some reason people forgot their manners and decided that, pleasantries are no longer required in business and personal life.  But Please doesn’t suffer as much as Thank you though!  Oh no!  Thank you is almost taboo, non-existent, a “Lockness Monster” or “Bigfoot” that you hear about and read about but only comes out when no witnesses are around.

Now some may say that when it comes to business, the check should be Thank you enough…touché!  However, we don’t always receive monetary compensation when conducting business.  Sometimes we are networking, connecting dots, forwarding helpful articles, bartering, giving advice, or congratulating someone on a job well done.

Guess what’s supposed to come next?  Thank you!  It’s bad enough we rely on smart phones and social media…but do we have to lose common courtesies too?

You mean to tell me that the newest and trendiest thing out right now is to take without acknowledgement?  Receive without appreciating?  Benefit without giving back?  Accept without saying a motherfucking THANK YOU?

So what if we nice people decided to flip it?  A wise person told me TUH DAY, “as soon as a person stops thanking you…that’s when you stop. “  What do you think?  Is this good advice?  But I don’t want to change who I am because you don’t have manners…you feel me?  And as a person who gives and gives and sometimes doesn’t receive the same type of efforts, encouragement, hook-ups, or niceness in return, AT MINIMUM, I'd appreciate and expect a Thank You. 

Yes, you read correctly…I used the word, EXPECT.  People say that you should give without expecting anything but I call, bullshit!  We should definitely give because we want to, because we can and/or out of the kindness of our hearts…but I don’t know many or anyone who wouldn’t want to be acknowledged or thanked.  Now of course I’m not talking the about the Saints who live among us and the good anonymous Samaritans who do good things and vanish without a trace.  I am talking about the average person…those who we communicate with, work with, talk to, like, and love.

You’re making it harrrrrrrrrrd on us who want to do good things because we want to do good things!  And I don’t know if it’s because you’re living in a bubble, too busy or too oblivious to realize it.  But, without a simple thanks, you suck the positive energy out of that gesture that was made just for you. You also can make a person feel like your undeserving of said gesture and any future ones that may have had your name on them.

So listen here!  Next time someone does something nice for you, says something nice to you, or because of you…say, Thank you.  

It should roll off your tongue with ease.  Think of it as dessert after a well-cooked meal or that unexpected check you received after doing a good job.  You thank God, you thank your credit card for working when you get to the register after you've OD'd at Target…you even thank Hollywood writers you’ve never met after something good comes on your TV! So go ahead…thank your friend for that advice, your co-worker for picking up your slack, that person who complimented you on your outfit of the day, your Follower for leaving a comment on your blog,  your homie who just wanted to check on you, your family for putting up with you, your colleague for those tickets, that associate for the referral, and him or her for being that shoulder to cry on or ear to vent to when things may not go your way.  Don’t forget those you pray for you and the ones who cheer for you.

Thank them.  Now thank me.

...and Thanks for reading.

CMJ

32 comments:

  1. THANK YOU CLAUDIA!

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  2. I read this in your voice. lmao. I hear you and thank you!

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  3. I like how you have my quote in there! When they stop thanking, you stop doing. Sometimes it's for their own good. You have to bring them back to reality and let them know they may need your kind heart and spirit. I know you and know your heart, You are as genuine as they come. For real. I don't know many like you but I'm glad to know you and have definitely benefited from that kind and fiery heart of yours. So passionate and true. You deserve all that you give and then some. Thank you for everything and than you for being you. see you soon!

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  4. WOW! This was good. And I can tell you meany every word. Thanks!

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  5. CLAUDIA! LOLOL! YOU SAID THANK THEM NOW THANK ME. WHY YOU SO SASSY!? HAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE IT. THANKS! SEE I SAID THANKS!

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  6. You go so hard with that big heart of yours! "Accept without saying a motherfucking THANK YOU?"

    DAMN! I felt it here in WPB! Miss you girl! And thanks for the birthday card. But I called you so don't say I didn't thank you. Lol

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    1. Oh and it's Lori! Forgot to sign my name. Thank you!

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  7. Thank them, no thank me. Bitch youre good. LOL! Thank you!

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  8. Thank them ,now thank me is some Olivia Pope Scandal shit. I love this! You are so damn honest in your writing. I may be wrong but I feel like someone rubbed you the wrong way but instead of fighting them, you chose to educate the masses on the importance of something as simple as a thank you. We all need lessons. Thanks!

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  9. Thought I was going to be 1st to comment! This was so good Mocha! Thank you!

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  10. Your absolutely right. Thanks!

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  11. lolololol! So true and thank you!

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  12. Saying you're welcome is a lost art too! But thank you!

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  13. As soon as they stop thanking you, that's when you stop. That's good advice!

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  14. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. People don't say it or mean it enough!

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  15. Thank you is only 2 words! Why is that so hard!?

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  16. What a great post! Thank you so much for bringing up such valid points. I think this elitist attitude that people have makes nice people regretful and bitter. I see it and feel it sometimes when I hold open a door for a stranger or say bless you after they sneeze. People just don't say thank you so it makes me do less nice things.

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  17. Don't change who you are but don't let these kind of people off the hook either. Let them know!

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  18. Selfish people do make you change. Even if you don't want to or meant to you end up more guarded and careful with whim you share your niceness. Thank you for this!

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  19. Haaaaaaaa! What a great piece! Thanks!

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  20. yes ma'am! I will thank them then thank you! lmao!

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  21. Wow you make some valid points and I understand what you mean by expecting at least a thank you. That is the minimum and if you were raised that should be something that automatically comes out of your mouth.

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  22. This needed to be said. Plain & simple. We have to start appreciating what we do for each other. Throw the damm narcissistic posturing out of the window!

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