Twitter Etiquette from the Church of @HelloMocha

I'd like to call myself a good Twitterer. Even though there is always room for improvement...I know I am engaging, thankful, informative, silly, and I try my best to respond to anyone who @'s me. However...there are days when rude Tweeps get on my nerves, or someone I know personally Tweets something prejudiced, callous, or selfish that makes me want to call them on the phone to tell them to go f*ck themselves.

But that isn't always cool. But what is cool is how Twitter has allowed us to have conversations with people from all walks of life. Some Celebs, some potential new clients, virtual BFFs, and even people you end up forming real friendships or romantic relationships with. You can also Stalk someone via Twitter. Yes...but the key is to do it without being noticed. Ha ha! I've had Twitter Crushes and have fallen for "Thirst Traps" via Direct Message. But it's all in fun...and it's challenging and a great way to help improve communications in real-life and in the digital world.

I love Twitter and want you to love it too...Even on bad days when a person who doesn't even follow me Tweets me their Music...I try my best to be polite so that they know that learning their audience is essential in getting the response they want from Twitter and its occupants.

Know who and what you're dealing with. Overly aggressive behavior can be just as annoying as Passive Aggressive. So I came up with these 35 Twitter rules that may help you along the way to Twitter Greatness! I don't feel like I've achieved that status yet but I believe that who I follow is a reflection of what kind of Tweep I want to be. I've watched some of the best Twitterers handle situations I know in real life would have had different outcomes. I've also gotten some great advice, useful tips, wonderful opportunities, great links, and comic relief because of who I follow and what we all do for each other.

With that being said...I had to learn, so I want you to learn too!

So check it...tell your Tweeps to get with my Tweeps...and we can be Tweeps. We can do this every weekend. Aight? Is that aight with you? Yeah... keep Tweetin'  *Diddy Voice*

Twitter Etiquette...from My Tweets to your Timeline:

1. Tweet. Say hi. Let your presence be known but don't be overly aggressive. "Hello Tweeps" actually works!
2. Engage. Socialize.Twitter is about conversation though you can use it to vent...still try to use the @ to get Tweeps involved.
3. Retweet! Now this one is tricky because Retweeting is like a Cosign...so be careful and selective but do it a lot.
4. Don’t Retweet people who Retweet you unless you’re adding a comment to the Retweet! For ex: (@HelloMocha #WhatSheSaid RT: @mamachell And are THE best! RT:@HelloMocha #ScorpiosUnite)
5. Look at photos. Retweet photos. Leave comments. Let your followers know you're paying attention. Tweeps like to feel loved. 
6. Promote other Blogs and accomplishments of those you follow. They'll do the same for you.
7. Don't be a robot. Loosen up! But don't feel obligated to engage or Follow someone back if you feel disrespected or turned off.
8. Be honest! Don't lie about your whereabouts & use Google images to back up your story. Tweeps hate liars...especially CAUGHT ones
9. Don’t just follow people! Engage. There's nothing worse than a church-mouse-Twitterer! If you see something, Tweet Something!
10. Laugh along! Laugh out loud! Laugh at yourself. Have a sense of humor.
11. If you jump in the middle of a Twitter conversation, check the previous Tweets before you say something wack & presumptuous.
12. If you are a Newbie...Follow, Follow, Follow! Search key words of what interests you and Follow those types of Tweeps who talk about what you like and do what you like to do.
13. If you have their email, Facebook, and cell number...there is NO need to @ someone the same sh*t you sent them via email, Facebook or Text!
14. Tread lightly! If you see someone isn't giving you the attention or responses you want, keep it moving. YOU may be the problem or they may be having a bad day.
15. Never underestimate the power Twitter has! Deleted Tweets can be found. So Tweet without having to regret later.
16. Don't Tweet in 3rd person. You'll look like a crazy obnoxious person and will quickly turn off potential Followers.
17. Don’t follow someone expecting them to follow you back. Follow because you’re interested in what they have to Tweet.
18. Stop YELLING! Why are you so loud? Why use ALL CAPS to get a message across? Those Tweets get ignored THE most and are Retweeted the least. #Fact
19. Keep #TheThirst level down. We can see you! Take it to Direct Message or off-line. And if #TheThirst is not reciprocated, move the hell on.
20. Don’t be a STALKER. Once you are dismissed...log off and have a seat! You do NOT want to be ethered via Twitter or have your private messages exposed. They will be Retweeted and you will be ridiculed.
21. Don't beg Tweeps to read your blog or Retweet you. Tweet your content freely. Retweet yourself! Ask nicely, but don't beg.
22. Offer a service. Give advice. Post interesting articles, Coupon links and Event info. Contribute colorful commentary. Keep Tweeps wanting to come to your Timeline!
23. Please don't go off on someone for Unfollwing you. It's not becoming of a lady or gentlemen. Take the "L" and move on.
24. Understand that Twitter is some people's escape. So if a #RealLifeFriend Unfollows or refuses to engage you...Follow new Tweeps.
25. Please don't link your Tweets to your Facebook unless you don't Tweet a lot. Hasn't Facebook put us thru enough already? Don't do it!
26. Check your Timeline or GOOGLE before asking a question about something big that happened in the news. #DoItForJesus
27. Don't be afraid to share your wisdom and life experiences. Be personal yet private.
28. Check your location in your Bio! If it says "At your man's house" or "up in your girl's guts", who's gonna Follow you, Boo?
29. If you get into a Twitter Beef and are obviously losing...just bow out graciously. For real.
30. Don't Tweet vague Tweets about a private conversation you're having off-Twitter with #OOMF. Tell us about it or #STFU
31. If you have nothing to say, don't say anything. Keep scrolling! No LOLs needed either. Nothing more annoying than someone who Tweets a stupid response just so they can say something. Go ride a bike.
32. Stay away from Tweeps who ALWAYS have something negative to Tweet. Occasional Shade is allowed, (especially during times when Black-Twitter is watching Reality TV or an Awards show.) But constant negativity is frowned upon. 
33. Don't Follow someone JUST because they follow who you date or who you're sleeping with. No Ma'am! No Sir! You will get your feelings hurt. Follow and Tweet with no hidden agendas!
34. If you must bring drama to your Timeline, you will get Drama in return. So if you offend someone, don't get mad if they clap back. Tweet ignorantly and over aggressively with precaution. 
35.  If you are asked to not Tweet someone again, don't. Cyber-bullying is real and several Police Departments have Internet Crime divisions. #FallBack

 Now go and Tweet something...and be sure to Follow @HelloMocha

#TheEnd

Random Act of Kindness and Yummy Awesomeness!

Soooooooooo…I just came back from getting some Pizza. (I know, I know!) I’m supposed to be on a quest to lose 7 pounds, but after having one of THE best plates of Spaghetti last night…I went back to the spot to try a slice or 2 of some good ole fashioned Pizza. I just wanted to see if they were consistent. *Wink*

While I’m waiting outside, reading my copy of the New Times, a homeless man walks up to me. I hate that! Not just because he’s a homeless man but I hate being ambushed. I also hate the idea of Homelessness and anyone who knows me personally KNOWS that I’m a sucker and will give up a dollar or 2 with the quickness.

Somewhere in the Bible…(Not sure where or how it’s worded) it talks about how we shouldn’t let people go hungry. I’m not ballin’. I closed my Savings account. And my clients owe me so much money that I have to always make payment arrangements with my cell phone company…but I digress. I won’t let someone in front of me be hungry.

So back to the dude...Homeless. Stinky. Smokers teeth. Hunched over. Asked me for a nickel. So I asked him what the fuck he was going to do with a nickel?! He said, “it adds up. Most people don’t want to give me paper money. They give me change and by the end of the night I usually can get a slice and something to drink.”

Okay here come the tears! Fact about me: I’m tolerant of NOTHING and sensitive to EVERYTHING. So I gave him a nickel and told him not to move. I went inside to get my food and a bottle of water and said FUCK IT!

I grabbed buku napkins and a tray then went back outside with the 2 slices of fresh-out-the-oven Pizza…NO TOPPINGS of course. I keeps it simple.

I gave it all to him. No questions. Didn’t even get his name. He looked old enough to be someone’s father…my father. I’d want someone to do that for him if he were alive and in this kind of trouble. He thanked me. Wanted to hug me but I just wanted him to eat. He already had half a slice in his mouth before I stepped off the curb.

But then this happened…some random dude runs up and grabs me by the arm. Whoah! I guess since I put my earphones back on that quickly…I couldn’t hear him calling me.

This guy…he was watching me interact with the homeless dude. That would usually creep me out but keep reading!

He saw me and said he was moved. Okay? Then he gave me $20.00 and walked away. Huh? I walked behind him and grabbed his arm. I told him that it was okay. He told me he really wanted me to have it and hopes that I go ahead and buy myself my own slices. He wished me a good evening and kept it moving.

WOW!

I went back and got 2 slices. Homeless dude was GONE! But I sat outside and ate with a huge smile on my face. Yup! That was awesome.

Yummy awesomeness!

K.I.S.S.I.N.G

Do you know the effects of Kissing?

Anonymous

1. Long kisses are beneficial to our circulatory system. When kissing, our pulse rate is quickening up to 110 beats per minute. This is great training for our cardiovascular system.
2. After kissing, the lungs work harder, resulting in 60 inhales per minute compared to regular 20 inhales. Such “ventilation” is a good preventive measure against lung disease.
3. Some dentists believe that kissing is a preventive measure against dental caries. Indeed, kissing stimulates the flow of saliva that eliminates acid coat on the teeth.
4. Kisses that last more than three minutes help us fight stress and its effects. Long kisses trigger the chain of biochemical reactions, which destroys stress hormones.
5. Those who kiss their partner goodbye each morning live five years longer than those who don’t.
6. Kissing is great for self-esteem. It makes you feel appreciated and helps your state of mind.
7. Kissing burns calories, 2-3 calories a minute and can double your metabolic rate. Research claims that three passionate kisses a day (at least lasting 20 seconds each) will cause you to lose an entire extra pound.
8. Kissing is a known stress-reliever. Passionate kissing relieves tension, reduces negative energy and produces a sense of well being, lowering your cortisol ‘stress’ hormone.
9. Kissing uses 30 facial muscles and it helps keep the facial muscles tight, preventing baggy cheeks! The tension in the muscles caused by a passionate kiss helps smooth the skin and increases the circulation.
10. Kissing is good for the heart, as it creates an adrenaline which causes your heart to pump more blood around your body. Frequent kissing has scientifically been proven to stabilize cardiovascular activity, decrease blood pressure and cholesterol.
11. Those who kiss quite frequently are less likely to suffer from stomach, bladder and blood infections.
12. During a kiss, natural antibiotics are secreted in the saliva. Also, the saliva contains a type of anesthetic that helps relieve pain.
13. Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the ‘noise’ in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace. 

Now go pucker up! Muah!

Get Booked!

Models, Actors, Hosts, Dancers...what are you doing differently this year from last year to be the best you can be?
 
Are you prepared more? Will you be on time?
 
Are you getting new head shots to reflect changes in your appearance? Are you trying new looks? Have you met any new photographers?
 
Have you decided to maybe switch it up a little? Improv, Drama, maybe a few new monologue options?
 
Models...will you practice new poses? New facial expressions? Have you learned the art of "Smiling with your eyes"?
 
Dancers...do you take risks? Have you tried to learn different techniques? Why not take a non-traditional class to give you more range?
 
It's a new year but the game is the same. Competition is still stiff but auditions happen everyday. For each job you don't get, there's an opportunity for you to do some fine tuning so you can get it right the next time! And if you still don't get that role, that spot, that campaign, that gig...do NOT give up!
 
Get out of bed, dust your shoulders off, don't forget about yesterday's disappointments...learn from them! Look in the mirror and say out loud what you're going to do and how you will do it.
 
Get up. Get focused. Be prepared. Be strong. Be on time. Be optimistic. Get Booked!
 
Happy New Year!

Encouragement...

Encourage. verb. To inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence. To stimulate by assistance, approval. To promote or foster.

Encourage/Encouragement. (Important for growth, self esteem and motivation.)

Believe me when I tell you!

I had a bad morning because I needed some encouragement. But it was no where to be found. I used to get encouragement on a daily basis from my mother and my dude who also helped me start my Casting bizness...They're both gone and so are the daily encouraging messages I'd get thru calls, emails, letters, cards, face to face interaction and etc.

But I encourage though! (And pay it forward.)

I'm constantly cheerleader-ring, making introductions, being the 'ride or die' friend and listener when an ear is needed. But what some people don't understand is even those who appear strong have weak moments.

We need encouragement too!

Unfortunately I don't get that anymore! Or not as often as I'd like....just occasional congrats sometimes followed by a favor asked or silent Hate from Frenemies. But I keep encouraging anyway! And even though I can't be everything to and for everyone...I bust my ass trying!

Encouragement! It's so uplifting! Motivating! Life-changing! Mood-curing! 

Sometimes the difference between life and death...

So do me a favor and go encourage someone. Please! Do it all week if you can. Make it an act of kindness. 

Encourage someone today. I'm sooooooo serious...

Holla at your peeps who may be stuck in a rut or can't seem to execute an idea.

Encourage them.

It can be as simple as sending them a link to an article or discussing their dreams, aspirations, goals, fears or nitemares.

Encourage them.

Sometimes it's not a job, an introduction, money or sex. It's a hug, a call, you being available to listen or your words of encouragement.

Believe me!

Encouragement has a direct effect on success whether personal or professional.  We need it and yes...I need it.

Maybe I'm a bit needier lately because my 2 main encouragers are no longer here in the physical sense...But for what they've done for me...I do for others. And I go hard!

Harrrrrrrd mi seh!

But I'm human...and just like we need water, food, oxygen, light and love...we, us, they, you and I need Encouragement.

Now go!

*Hugs and Nuff Love*

Claudia Mocha Jean

Before you get SCAMMED...

 Agents, Managers, & Casting v. Shopping Mall Scammers by Paul Russell  

(@PaulRussellCstg on Twitter.com)

I must be screaming in the wind. Or there are many willfully-deaf actors bumbling through their bank accounts seeding dead presidents to persons and `companies' that are nothing more than hogs feasting on the hopes of the actor aspirants.

Too, too often I receive e-mails from past students who write that they received an invitation for representation but only if that actor takes classes with said `agency'. And often I encounter `actors' who boast they received their representation, `acting learnin', and headshots all in a one-stop shop via a mall kiosk in Paramus, NJ….

I authored numerous chapters on the subject of agents, managers, and casting in ACTING: Make It Your Business. Not wanting to irk my fingers, grey cells or the readers with redundancy pulled from that Random House title; a brief, new, reminder.

It's time to scream once more into the gales about this.

What's `this'?
Who is a talent agent? What is a talent manager? What is casting? Who and what are individuals who claim to be agents, managers and/or casting from which you should run your artisan ass away.

Casting:

Casting offices represent producers. Casting does not represent talent. Every day I get e-mails from actors that read similar to; `I wants be reppd by you as new talunt." (Another dose of anesthesia to the Paul Russell table please.)

Legitimate casting offices do not charge actors to audition for projects. Casting offices can and may hold classes which broaden an actor's skill and/or perspective but those classes are never to be deemed as auditions for casting. (It's the short-sighted actor that thinks differently and often overlooks the long-term goals gained via a casting office's classes.)

There is no governing union for casting. So to those actors who think that sending-off a virulent missive to the Casting Society of America (C.S.A.) about how a casting director who only gave you three minutes instead of four for your cow-costumed audition… you're wasting your time.

I never joined C.S.A. because the organization is not a bargaining collective. I.E. you pay a membership fee to C.S.A. and in-return receive newsletters and a yearly invite to an awards dinner. There's no `union' representation as to our work conditions and pay rates. I'm not forfeiting four figures to join a club that congratulates itself yearly on talent herding. Casting directors don't hire the chosen actors. Casting directors assemble the talent for our clients to cast from. Reason why I often say, "I'm glorified human resources."

Talent Agents:

For a person to hold the title of `agent' who represents an actor the agent must be:

Franchised by the unions (Screen Actors Guild, Actors' Equity Association, and AFTRA). Once franchised the agent can then represent both union and non-union talent. If an `agent' is not franchised; they're not an agent they're a manager or shopping mall scam. (Go to Auntie Annes for a pretzel. You'll be much happier.)

In New York, LA and other major U.S. cities agents are required by some of the unions to have a union-approved office (meaning a SAG representative visits and gives the agent's work space a `yea' or `nay') that has a waiting area for the actors and access to clean toilet facilities. If an `agent' has neither an office nor toilet for the actor, or office space has not been approved by SAG; they are not an agent they're a manager or shopping mall kiosk scam. (Visit The Piercing Pagoda for a new hole; you'll feel not as incomplete.)

Franchised agents cannot offer classes directly to their clients as an agreement term for representation. If an `agent' demands such; they're allegedly a willful modeling `agency' of Philadelphia, a manager, or a shopping mall kiosk scam. (Shuffle to the Apple store and further debt yourself by grabbing the newest I-Phone; you'll feel superior over your CrackBerry devotees.)

Agents can only collect 10% of your salary on individual projects that are deemed commission-able by the unions. If an `agent' asks you for 20% of your earnings from either performance and/or civilian wages they're allegedly a Mary Contrary `agency' of Philadelphia, a manager or a shopping mall kiosk scam. (Stroll to Nordstrom; another Jimmie or Madden pairing will keep the two dozen others in your crammed closet from feeling neglected.)

Agents can not require or request of their clients fees for:

Office supplies
Web-site inclusion
Yearly/Monthly membership

Agents can recommend preference of photographers but they can not insist an actor-client have headshots taken by a particular photographer. Nor can an `agent' insist your headshots, which you pay for, be taken by his assistant (who happens to be a headshot photographer… isn't that just special). Allegedly this questionable practice has been festering for far too many decades at a NY talent rep's office named for a King.

Talent Managers:

Can do whatever they want and take whatever they will of which you sign-over in your contract with the manager. (This is where your grammar school English teacher test-trick of `read-the-entire-test-before-starting-to-discover-that-you-needn't-take-the-exam-because-the-last-test-question-tells-you-not-to-take-the-test' comes into adult play.) Read before engaging damn it.
Shopping Mall `You Can Be A Star' Kiosks:

Provide rental income to shopping center developers.

They also provide `actors' with depleted savings in return for headshots no better than a Hicksville High, U.S.A. senior portrait. Also often included as a `representation' requirement are acting classes taken with a teacher who may believe taffeta is appropriate audition wear for the role of a lawyer defending a homicidal ballerina.

Why do `actors' get taken in by the scammer-employed, bored looking teenage girls milling about a shopping mall kiosk who are only to be moderately engaged in duty as they flatly shout out to passersby under twenty-five, "You a movie star?! You a model, right?' Because the `actor' is an idiot. They'd also go to the Garden State Plaza in Paramus seeking a personal injury lawyer from Johnny Rockets.

Why do so many abuses of actors exist? Because industrious interlopers of our trade know that there is a large percentage of `artistes' who believe cash, instead of long term labor, can bring instant rewards. Ain't gonna happen folks. Just ain't.

If you believe differently; do me a favor. Stop reading this but not until you visit PayPal and transfer a thousand dollars into my coffers. My repeated advisories here, in ACTING: Make It Your Business and in person don't seem to be enlightening your delusions. Maybe a loss from your savings with nothing provided in return might raise a modicum of awareness as to what and who is legitimate versus the fraudulent.

I would hope this the last of this type of advisory found here at Answers for Actors. We've all had enough of `actors' thinking they can find fame via unscrupulous individuals who demand monies in exchange for false promises. Enough. Finis. No mas. Kaputt. ¿Comprende?

(Was that a pulmonary surgeon yesterday offering same-day procedures at his kiosk in the Willowbrook Mall? Hmmmm.)

http://answersforactors.wordpress.com/

Untitled

When the pursuit of paper mutes your voice or changes your opinion, you are officially a rich puppet-Paul Porter

I remember the day he first yelled at me. It was stupid and it was in front of everyone as if I had committed a crime and needed a jury of my peers to witness him verbally cut my throat. I took my shoes off in the office. I didn’t walk around shoeless.  I didn’t put my feet up in a relaxing manner. I took my shoes off, placed them by my feet at the table I was sitting at and kept working. He became enraged! He called in crew, Production Management, and other Creatives like myself to listen to his speech on being ”professional” in the office, respecting everyone’s space and not becoming so comfortable as to take off your shoes “like Claudia” and think it’s ok. 

If the speech ended there, I would have just taken it as a loss and not thought twice about it. My shoes went back on my feet and I stayed working. But nooooo…he kept it going for what felt like eons about how disgusted he was and made sure my name was at the end of every sentence. I still continued my work but with a stone cold face. I looked around the room at others who seemed more annoyed than shocked at his rant. At that moment I got a discreet Instant Message from someone in the room.

 

“Oh shit, you’re now on his shit list. Just be prepared because it goes down-hill from here. And don’t take it personally. He’s an asshole who needs his ass beat.”

Ok?!

Well the messenger was right and the instant messages, emails, and after-hours calls were heavy between many of us in the office. But it wasn’t just about me! This guy made everyone’s job and life for the duration of the project mi-se-ra-ble. It was to a point where no one spoke around him unless spoken to. Production Staff would eat their breakfast in the restrooms to avoid being seen by him. A Crew Head would agree with something he said that was off the wall or completely incorrect JUST to avoid a lengthy discussion then would wish him death when we’d get on the elevator. When we’d wrap for the day, folks would haul ass to avoid running into him for any reason at all.

What kind of leader is this? I’ve been in the Entertainment Industry since the age of 16 and have never come across anyone so vile. He is a human Cancer. A piece of shit. The opposite of a mentor. A person who cheers on negativity and hopes for your worse. Every word he spoke was condescending, rude and inhuman…and he was our boss. One Production Head called him, “The Devil’s hero.”  This wasn’t good.

Once during an event he WENT OFF about how one of the crew members hung up a sign we used for production. He then decided to call everyone from the crew on walkie-talkie to meet him at the sign but called her last. We could not figure out what was wrong with the sign and no one could get to her quickly enough to warn her about him being upset.  In front of everyone he asked her to tell him what was wrong with the sign. She looked at all of us but we didn’t know! (And we couldn’t save her.) He asked her multiple times as she held back tears during the grueling interrogation. He then pointed out that the sign was hung up with black tape and how it was completely and utterly unacceptable and looked “Ghetto.”

Mouths dropped. He yelled to a point where strangers stopped to gawk. He used enough expletives to make you think she had stolen his per diem. Then when he was done, he walked away. Some of us lined up to hug her. My blood pressure raised. I wanted out.

Day after day after day this man made a job that was supposed to be a great gig into the absolute worst Production experience I’ve had in my life…and I’ve worked in hostile environments before! I’ve worked around cursing. I’ve been sexually harassed. I've been called a Bitch twice and even threw a chair once...but this job was killing me slowly. This dude was the epitome of evil.

Now don’t get me wrong...I realize that people, even supervisors, don’t owe you pleasantries. Pleasantries are not required, not part of Labor Laws and are not owed to you. But what about RESPECT? What about being treated like a Human being? What happened to showing a subordinate the right way to do things instead of embarrassing the shit out of them until they wish death upon you? Who wants that?

He once yelled at a crew member for not answering an email he sent at 4am. But he didn’t just question the crew member's ability to read and respond. Ohhhhhh nooooo! He questioned his parents' choice of where they sent him to school and whether or not he may have needed a tutor to come on set who could teach him how to read emails and respond back in a timely manner. (That’s a lot, right?) So because he didn’t read and respond to the email at 4am, his parents weren’t shit, his degree isn’t worth shit and he went as far as asking him if he needs a tutor???

Whoah! Time the Fuck out!

I started to hate him. HATE is indeed a strong word and an often misused emotion but I was fed up. I didn’t know if I was going to snap one day, call the police, have the police called on me, get fired or walk out…but every day I felt like all of the above were going to happen. Then when I too wished death upon him, I knew it was my time. It was no longer fun. My body was aching, head was hurting and I hated him. The promises that were made to me upon my being hired did not come thru. I was asked to work an extra day at no additional pay. I had an immediate Supervisor who not only threw me under the bus to save his ass on a daily, but who told me he didn’t want to manage our team and was only interested in getting HIS work done. Well Damn. Who could I turn to at that point?

One night I called my older sister crying hysterically. I told her how I was miserable. I told her about being disrespected on a daily basis. I told her I worked for a man who admitted his “hate” for Black women and who used the words "NIGGERS" and "BLACK BITCHES" all willy nilly around an office filled with mixed company. I told her my “unprofessional” shoe removal story and how the very next day, he went to sleep on the couch, in the middle of the office snoring like a 10 thousand pound gorilla. I told her about how he changed my name from Claudia to BONEQUISHA and SHAQUISHA and how I refused to respond.

The last straw came when he cursed me out on set for wanting to move his back-pack that was crushing one of my Props it was sitting on top of. Then later he asked me, the only woman on set, to carry the same back-pack that was so heavy I leaned forward like I had Scoliosis. Male members of staff watched me struggle with the bag, afraid they'd get in trouble just for assisting me. He eventually snatched it from me so hard that he not only knocked me down, but grabbed some of my skin in the process. He gave no apology nor did he help me up. That was it! I hated him and I was done.

My sister then asked me how much money I was making. I told her. Her response was, “HOW MUCH?” All I could imagine was her eyes opened really wide because of the amount. It wasn’t small, but to me it was not worth it. I’ve heard of paying dues but this was ridiculous. And at this point in my career, I shouldn’t feel desperate for any gig, right? Desperate enough to allow this type of disrespect? And being a Bully to me and other members of our crew is not my idea of a good leader.You feel me?

I didn’t know what advice my sister was going to give me. And since she’s an attorney, she is well trained in office battles. She’s always been known as the strong one. (So strong that even from her death bed, my mother said she didn’t want to die in front of me but knew my sister could take it.) So what did my sister advise? She told me to stay until I got booked for another gig. Some of my friends and colleagues said the same thing, but at that point I just wanted out and I wanted my credit. Fuck him.

In the beginning I knew my work would speak for itself but when my work started to suffer because I didn’t care anymore, I just didn’t care anymore! I stopped using pleasantries. When he would enter the room I wouldn’t scram like others did nor did I go out of my way to speak. I ignored him on some days, “talked back” on others, and began to just do the minimum work required to stay afloat and collect a check.

But that isn’t why I decided to work in Entertainment! For a check? If most of us Creatives worked for just a check, we wouldn’t work in our fields. Creative people are already stressed, especially freelancers who work from gig to gig and often check to check… if the client pays on time. Who needs the added stress? How can you give your 100% if the environment you work in doesn’t allow you to?

Here’s a better question….when you decide enough is enough, does it make you weak or make you strong for walking away? On my last day he told me that “maybe” I didn’t have the “stomach” for the job.

LOL!  No Negro…I don’t have the stomach for you!

Sooooo…are others who work with him show after show stronger than those of us who vowed never to work with him again?  Are those who ride his waves more likely to succeed in this business because they dealt with him under his conditions? Can’t I be viewed as strong for NOT wanting to work with him or anyone like him? And whyyyyyyyyy do people like him progress?  Don’t nice people make good TV?

I don’t have any solid answers which is one of the main reasons I wrote this blog post. Honestly, there may not be a wrong or right answer to any of it.  But strength should not be defined by how high you get people to jump or how many times you can take a punch. And there’s more value in how people respond to you positively rather than how much they fear you.

But one thing I do know for sure is neither a check nor a credit makes abuse feel better...and neither does silence. 

Unabbreviated, Unashamed, Unbroken...Untitled.

Claudia Jean