Dear John...I mean, Text

Dear Text Message…

Hey, you.  Got a minute?  There are some things on my mind and I don’t know how to say this but it needs to be said.  I realize that this isn’t your preferred method of communicating but I have to do what’s best for me, what’s best for us, what’s best for those who know us both, and honestly...this isn’t working.

I think we should go our separate ways.

I’m not going to lie and say it’s not you, it’s me…because it truly is YOU.  Now it’s not all on you, but those who use you to communicate with me have not done you justice and it’s making me resentful in the process.  I understand that you don’t have total control of how people handle you and sometimes abuse your convenient ways…but something has got to give.  I’m at a point where everything about you annoys me, sometimes angers me and even has me questioning my own sanity and values.  I say all that to say…I can’t do this with you anymore.  

 NOPE!

I should have stuck to my guns in the beginning when I never had you.  Remember those days?  People would constantly push you on me, side eye me for not using you, question my carrier service, beg me to try you just once.  I even wrote a blog about dating and you.  “Do you want to date me or Text me?”  That was a good one!  And I stood my ground for the longest.  It was hard explaining to loved ones, friends and colleagues why you and I didn’t make sense, but it wasn’t about all of them…it was about me and you. 

I never fell for your charm and easily accessible ways because I preferred the more personable route.  While you serve quickies and resolutions in a NY Minute, I was looking for more of a commitment…sometimes a paper trail, other times more details in one email or a quick phone call rather than what 30 annoying back-to-back messages in a row would provide.  When folks would get upset about tone, I preferred to call so they could hear me and my words, my inflection, my enthusiasm, happiness or lack thereof. 

But it wasn’t easy avoiding you all this time; and some of the rewards have been great.  However… I’ve gotten the chance to get to know people and get a better understanding of how they feel by just listening vs. reading what they’d have to say.  Even voice mail messages have improved from people who claim they normally did not do that…but once they realized how easy it could be and how quickly I’d respond, they’d oblige and continue that method without much pressure or pain.

I can’t say the same for you though!  I stepped out of my comfort zone, joined the masses, and decided this past Summer to try you out.  I have never been the type to adhere to peer pressure or subscribe to “what’s hot in these streets,” but I also didn’t want to be like that dated and out-of-style person you’d see in the club who doesn’t know the latest and greatest fashion or dances.  

I was so hesitant at first because I knew that once we started, others would follow and I might lose that personal touch I worked so hard to gain. Nevertheless, I decided to take a chance and almost 6 months later…I’m ready to let you go.

Now don’t get me wrong…you most definitely have a use.  I’ve had THE funniest and sometimes heartwarming convos via you. I couldn’t believe it myself!  Me? Miss Anti-Text!?!  I’ve been so Pro-phone call all this time that I didn’t realize I was changing, conforming…turning into those I’ve criticized and avoided because all they do is TEXT. And you’ve come in handy on many occasions when only quick and short communication has been necessary.  Lovely ETA updates,  nice hello and good night messages, phone number/email/address exchanges, smiley faces after a message has gone wrong…only to make it right, XOXOs from my nieces, jokes from friends, and naughty exchanges between me and HIM.  Ahhhh…good times. 

But what about the not-so-good-times?  We already know about the car accidents, deaths, and screen-cap tragedies that end up on Social Media, right? 

And how about when you are in the middle of a text convo, a juicy one, and HIM or HER leave you hanging? By the time they text back, you're just skin and bones...

But there have also been misinterpreted messages, misread tone, unnecessary awkward silences after receiving or sending something to the wrong person, awkward silences while waiting on a response to something personal or deep that we’ve shared and hope isn’t shared with others, and halted movements at the hands of those who have information needed in order for us to make our next move…literally.  You know how crazy it looks to be waiting on you JUST so I can leave or arrive?  And sometimes you don’t come until the next day!  So what happens next is resentment, anger, distrust, saltiness and…the lies.

 YUP!

So many have lied on you so they wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences.  Mind you, these are most likely THE SAME ones who rely on you so heavily that you wouldn’t know what their actual hands look like!  All you see is the phone and heads down. But that doesn’t stop them from using you as a scapegoat, does it?  I didn’t get the Text.  My phone died.  I didn’t have service.  The connection was bad.  I was in a dead spot.  I didn’t see it till this morning.  You sent a Text?  When?  I didn’t know you needed a response.

See…I can only deal with so much.  Not that everyone is lying on you but if there are constant issues with you AND the common denominator is YOU…then YOU have to go.  Sorry.

Maybe we can be friends?  I don’t want to completely lose you…especially since so many people are fond of you.  You’re not all bad!  It’s just that some people don’t know a good thing when they have it and end up spoiling it for the rest of us.  So let’s make a deal.  I won’t ignore you COMPLETELY, dismiss you, or disable you. But I will not be able to use you like I have been for the past few months.  Only for quick exchanges, an occasional hello or check in, and ETA/I’ve arrived updates for sure. Maybe. Cool?

But some of these periodically deep, sometimes critical, ever so often snappy, uncertainly misunderstood, randomly random, impersonally personal, awkwardly silencing Text messages need to end…today and now.

I know you don’t agree with me and I’m sorry if this hurts you.  That certainly is not my intention.  I just wanted to be woman enough to admit that this method really isn’t my thing and I was doing it mostly for everyone else and not for me.  I hope you understand and respect my decision.

Call me…

CMJ