Monday, April 30, 2012

You. Are. Not. A. Robot




Dear Real-life Friends
(...and I'm not just talking to my Real-life friends!)
This goes out to your friends, my friends and my friend's friends:

You. Are. Not. A. ROBOT!

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this but be patient and read slowwwwly!

We need to take time out to be Human again. We're behaving without thinking! We've been programmed to be anti-social and like it. Kinda like Robots, right? Maaaaaan...these Social Media and Smart Phone companies have found a way to dehumanize us and it's starting to affect friendships and relationships. 

Some of you will probably say that it has already happened...Touché! But perhaps we need to bring it to the attention of those who don't notice how bad it is and how impersonal we've become so that we can all get back to being Human again.

Just recently a new acquaintance told me he "never" talks on the phone, then proceeded to continue chatting with me via Blackberry Messenger. I'm so used to that kind of second-class communication nowadays that I didn't realize how sad that actually is!

I don't know how you can get to know someone without talking. And I don't think I'd be able to go too long without hearing the voices of those I truly consider Friends. But we all dehumanize ourselves to a certain extent. We don't talk...we email, Tweet, Text or bump into each other at events.

But even that shit doesn't work out too well! Sometimes we're friendlier on the Internet than in real life or we forget how to converse in real-life because we've found a comfort zone and new level of confidence by communicating with our thumbs. And as for email...I know for a fact some of my peeps don't even read half the things I send because 75% of the time they email me asking the same thing I already sent in the email.

And we don't even thank each other for info. Job leads, interesting articles, sales, invitations. We just click and skip...promising ourselves to get to it later when in reality, whatever it is will get lost amongst all the other correspondences our inboxes. And if you don't put something attention-grabbing in the subject line or put a Celebrity's name in ALL CAPS...it may get deleted all together.

And speaking of invitations...what happened to the personal touch? We find out about parties via Facebook or thru Twitter. No one has time to let each other know about what is going on.

Are we that busy?

The economy is shitty! Rent, mortgages and gas prices are too damn high.  We don't have a lot of quality Television programming to choose from...and if you're Single, you may not be going out on dates because no one talks anymore!

So what are we doing?????? 

Why aren't we more supportive? Why do we say, "let's catch up" but in real life never do? Why don't we take the time to read between and what's in the lines? 

As usual, I have more questions than answers, but I do not have a problem holding myself accountable. I have to do better as well and I don't want to live the rest of my life strictly behind the computer screen. I need Human contact. I love laughter. I love the hearing good news and being there for my friends to comfort them if and when there's bad news. I don't like missing out on things because I forgot to check Facebook and I hate having conversations via text that could easily be had over the phone.

And besides...if I couldn't hear Terrell's or my cousin, Lou's laugher, Dena's and Michelle's dating chronicles, Kevin's Jedi-mind-trick-isms, Rose's smile when I call for her birthday, (yes...you can hear a smile over the phone), Anthony's stories about his kids, gossip with Jamaal and Raedawn, catch up with Tracey and Finesse's Hollywood stories, Patricia's job hunting nightmares, talk about the family with Cousin Claudia, get wedding updates from Rachel, advice from Andre, find out what's poppin' in the fast and fashionably exciting lives of Alisha C. or Al in Chicago, talk sh*t in Patois with Chelan and Loni, go down "Memory Lane" with Love, share laughs with Wendy, or hear my nieces tell me they love and miss me...I'd eventually go crazy!

So let me go be human...or at least make an honest effort! And you...yeah YOU! Go be human! Call him or her! Meet up for drinks AND put the phone away! Go visit a friend and just vibe out in the house doing absolutely nothing! Support a friend's event regardless of who else will or will not be there! Make Birthday calls, not Texts! Get to know someone you may like by actually talking...with your mouth! Read his or her Blog post you said you'd read but never got around to.  (Hint Hint)

Goooooooooo!

Because we. are. not. Robots.

CMJ

27 comments:

  1. This was so good.I get exactly what your saying. Communication is a lost form of art. Lets get back right!

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  2. You always say NICE on twitter so I'll say NICE on your Blog. Loved it. Thanks for sharing! NICE!

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  3. I swear you are my best friend in my head. I love this mocha!

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  4. I think you nailed it..

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  5. You're right about putting phones away. Seems like everywhere I go peoples heads are down. All in their phones and not talking to who they're with.

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  6. yeah you're bad with the phone but you do call. I will admit that. You won't text but I as much as I've convinced myself that I hate the phone I smile when I see it's you calling. Sometimes the out the blue calls are the best. Been having more down days than up lately so theyre appreciated. Thanks for keeping it real as always and taking responsibility for yourself as well. I have no complaints. You're a great friend and our conversations though not as often as I'd like are the best. Love you!

    And how do I post my name on here? It keeps making me start over!

    L.Bougie

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  7. You're speaking to my being!

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  8. Well Well Well, when I first starting reading Im thinking is this coming from my friend that emails me alllll the time...then I decided to keep reading and BAM their it was your OWN accountability. The unfortunate part of all youve said is that it wont change. Nowadays phones do just about everything including talk for you (voice command). I have to admit even I was a slave to my phone and the people reaching out until Idecided that if they really wanted me they would CALL...so then I started misplacing my phone. Its nothing personal but so much is going on for me to be stuck to my phone, reading all these emails, and updates all day long.

    So when I call you pick up your damn phone (lol) cause honestly I HATE emailing you..lol

    Signed your friend since dance..Yeah we go wayyyyyy back, wayyyyy before phones and text...

    See you soon for some more wedding planning updates :)
    Rachel

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  9. Your honesty is refreshing, sexy and scary. You're a rare breed. Great post.

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  10. Very true... I too am guilty!

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  11. I was looking for my name! And there it is! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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  12. This was so good. You made some valid points and I need to do better myself. I don't ever talk on the phone and I delete emails without reading them all the time then I get mad when I miss something. I gotta do better. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. CLAPPING FOR YOU!

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  14. Thanks for sharing. You made some great points. It's like you're holding a mirror to my face.

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  15. Ditto! I'm clapping too!

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  16. I love this! Unfortunately these cold & detached behaviors are new norms. Recently, I became "robot" like for almost two months. I didn't feel like dumping my gloomy energy on people. Surprisingly most people didn't notice. Thankfully a few very close family/friends did. As soon as I saw some light, I reached out. I went out & supported. I called. I apologized. I missed the contact & rejoiced that I had people who missed me & wanted some me. We are human beings & true human contact shouldn't be based solely on fb/twitter/bbm.

    CeCe

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  17. Clap clap clap clap clap!

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  18. I love your Tweets and your blog. So glad I found you. I love reading your stuff. Keep them coming!

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  19. "Sometimes we're friendlier on the Internet than in real life or we forget how to converse in real-life because we've found a comfort zone and new level of confidence by communicating with our thumbs." Thats the realest shit I read in a while. Good post.

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  20. Jamaal

    I definitely enjoyed reading this. I feel social media has changed the game entirely. And i almost feel like technology is taking away from how we used to communicate, i doubt it will ever be the same again. Great post, Great read.

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  21. Good job Claudia!

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  22. LOL! YOU'RE ALWAYS SO UPFRONT AND HONEST! LOVE IT!

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  23. I agree and I'm guilty!

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