WARNING: There are a new breed of wack dudes that have infiltrated the dating scene and are terrorizing single women everywhere! And fellas who don’t fit the description…please take cover before you are found guilty of wackness by association!
Ladies...remember back in the day when the nerdy or dummy, quiet, jacked up haircut having, no date to the high school dance, no fraternity could make him cool in college, who's laugh got on your nerves, was THE Cornball you didn't even have time to complain about because he wasn't even on your radar? Remember him? And he was always the guy who was either too skinny or too short or too pressed or too emotional and didn't have any flavor with how he dressed?
And the stereotypical Cornball is the one who sticks out like a sore thumb and couldn't inherit swagger even if it was monogrammed, gift wrapped and overnighted to him from the KING of Swagger himself! You know him...don't front. Nothing he can do would upgrade him. Sometimes he is soooo corny you can't even explain it. You just know the only word you can use to describe him is: CORNBALL.
And then there is Mr. Wack. Now...one can argue that Cornballs and wack dudes are one in the same but I say they are fundamentally different. Sometimes Cornballs don't know any better. Some cornballs are unusually confident with what they have and extremely honest about what they don't. They don't necessarily know that they are corny and sometimes use terms like: I'm unique, original, an individual and I try not to be like other guys... (And they tried so hard to be different that it makes them even cornier.)
But Mr. Wack is tricky because if women are not careful, the wackness will not be detected initially. But those of us who have shamefully been fooled time and time again have started to notice the signs and can now spot him a mile away.
With so many wack dudes out there, it’s hard to put them in a box. WACK is definitely the correct category but there are several tiers you should be aware of. In other words...Mr. Wack comes in many shapes and forms, and has multi-levels of wackness.
Mr. Wack can be anywhere from the conceited, wanna-be-promoter, overly-dressed, claims that everyone is his "boy", so damn fine it hurts, sunglasses wearer in the club, technically single, red-carpet smile having brother…to the on-the-phone-in-the-club, habitual text messager, generous only when it benefits him, always needs to be seen, name dropper, Male Groupie, publicity whore who can either use you to raise his stock or wants you to use him. He is the one you are afraid to confront because his nice-guy act worked so well on you that you now think YOU are the problem....or better yet, it worked so well on others that you don't want to appear like the “bad guy” or crazy one for no longer wanting to deal with his wackness.
And I get it! Being bamboozled hurts. It hurts your pride and makes you regret using any bit of emotion on his wack ass. Especially if he is the one you've ditched your friends for and got on the list as your "plus one" because...well...he wasn't wack at first, right? And he is so cute! He can dress! And he smells so good. Mmmm mmm mmm.
But did you notice the OTHER chicks aka his "friends" in VIP?
What about the fact that he never puts the blackberry down?
And why are you closer to his boy(s) than you are to him?
Oh...he TEXTED you HAPPY BIRTHDAY....right...right ;)
Awww, he confided in you about being hurt by his ex-girl and that's why he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship! (wink)
Wait...did he stand you up last night? Nawww...he fell asleep at his house, on the couch, watching a movie....alone ;)
SMDH
Some will say that the Mr. Wack isn't part of any new breed of wack dudes and has always been WACK. But the thing is...initially you didn't know! Eventually guys like him do something that will make you discover the wackness, leaving you forever pissed off that you gave him a chance. Some of us have fed the ego of Mr. Wack therefore contributing to his I'm-the-sh*t attitude. We women “create the monster” or continue on the wackness tradition other women before us have encouraged. And how do we continue the tradition? By sweating him, always calling him, defending him, letting him slide, not standing our ground, not setting parameters, and yes...sexing him even after we find out he is WACK.
If you are still not convinced that who I am describing is your Mr. Wack...then take a look at some examples of wactivity found on the F*CK HIM list I created a few blogs ago. But if you are too lazy to look back...here are a few samples of what my girlfriends and I found to be him:
*The habitual texter...and you've NEVER spoken on the phone. (He won't pick up.)
*The one who asks you out but complains about the drive to pick you up.
*The one who hides you from his "baby moms."
*The "single" one who gives you a hand shake or "pound" at the club when he introduces you to his girlfriend who lives out of state.
*The one who’s keeping tabs on how much he’s spending on you and reminds you of it.
And my favorite:
*The one too busy to call but has time for everything else! My mom introduced me to the concept of him. See, I knew him but didn't know I knew him. Mrs. Lise Jean told me that guys who are interested do call. They CALL. And no matter how busy they get, if he likes you THAT much...a call to you will happen the second he can get a break, (and that means before he updates Twitter, facebook, or "networks" at the club.)
Well G*d Dammit I miss THE CORNBALL because after dating a Mr. Wack or two, I feel wack by association. (GUILTY!) Even Laura Winslow eventually fell for Steve Urkel! (Yes...I'm going Family Matters on you!) His character loved her unconditionally. No games, no baggage, no selfishness, no hidden agendas. And after years of chasing her, forming an alter-ego, and switching television networks, Laura gave in and figured out that Steve was actually the Cornball for her.
And while I'm on Steve Urkel...I wonder if the actor who played Steve Urkel is wack or a Cornball?! True story: I met him in Martha's Vineyard and he did everything he could to be noticed. And when he was asked repeatedly for his autograph by those who recognized him, he acted like it annoyed him...ummm hmmm…but he loved it! And our conversations were mostly him saying things like, "yeah baby, cool baby, sure baby," and "baby this, baby that, baby, baby, baby" straight out of a 70's movie! (WORD to GOLDIE.) I decided at that moment that he was waaaaaack! But years later after meeting up with him again and noticing he wanted less attention from "fans" and more conversation of substance...I thought he was once a Cornball who was actually cool.
Go figure! Either way...let's stop the WACKNESS...Please, before someone gets hurt.
My name is Claudia Jean and I’m a recovering Wack-A-Holic…
:(
Posts
It's kinda hard for the cycle of "wackness" to end 'cuz if a dude doesn't know he's wack then what's the solution. You can tell him all you want, if it's ok to hime then ...what to do?
ReplyDeletehey girl nicely done. I will add on to this-there is a whole breed of wack dudes that are blessed w/athletic ability and make it to the the league and become instant millionaires. Instead of evolving-their wackness is multiplied-only thing now because of their own male groupies and YES MEN there is NO system of checks and balances. Now the wackness is actually co-signed, endorsed and approved by the "yes boys" in tow-hoping to get residual pu*sy that their wack leader didn't get a chance to get to. Times are hard ladies... if we had glasses to spot these A-holes and not be blinded by the frilly things that distract us from the truth ie weatlth & fame and if the ratio wasn't so damn bad against women-the world would be a much better place. Ladies-We have GOT to get the power back. There is no way fly, cool, successful and just GOOD women should be getting played and even dissed by these wack dudes that shouldn't even have been allowed access 2 u in the 1st place! C. Jordan
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you said now in my opinion the first guy you describe the "Cornball" i remember when NO girls use to mess with them but in the past year i've seen the nerds become the cool ones out the bunch lol!! like Girls Like NERDS for some reasons. i think the cornballs are the ones who use to clown nerds in high school but now they think that the uncool is the new cool! and girls for some reason have been falling for that lol! now Mr.Wack i know a bunch of em but at the end of the day Girls like the Asshole! They dont want the easy nigga! i believe that all of us guys are nice some point in our life but we get messed over by that ONE or TWO girls realizing that when you're nice you geet used and instead of expressing that we turn to this other guy that just plays people. act like we dont want to get attached because our ego doesn't want to be hurt. Women like assholes and thats point blank! now if you're in a relationship then of course the assholeness needs to stop thats when were suppose to treat you like the queens you are because you're our number one woman and all of the games have stopped. but when you're single you have NO IDEA what the woman is doing so to keep yourself from getting hurt we rather mess around just in case ur doing it. it seems messed up but it is what it is. But a Real nigga would be upfront and blunt about what he is doing a Mr.wack asy you call it will lie which in my opinion is Mr.Lame Mr.Scarey and Mr.Wack!
ReplyDeletehmm ok ok ok---good to hear a mans point of view. I used to sort of like bad boys when i was WAY younger... but always found something cute and endearing and husband-like about guys that were a lil corny/nerdy. Those are the marrying type ladies. And the ones that won't blow thru their contracts in 4 years busy impressing hood rats in clubs. Nope they are usually busy plannin g for their future-and u may call this dude "cheap" cause he's not breakin beard-but this dude-will have plenty of bread to break....with his WIFE! The cool ones NEVER settle down and relax. Need proof? OK... Diddy, George Clooney, Jamie Foxx, Fabio... ok wait that last one was for the older ladies who found him hot in the 80's but you get the gist..... something to think about chicas....
ReplyDeleteClaudia Jordan
I agree with Claudia hence i guess the quote "nice guys finish last" is the truth! but sometimes i wonder who really wants to finish last? thats where most assholes come from because they were initially nice right? but realized they lost the woman they liked/loved to the prick or the bad guy lol so they become that hence the reason its a cycle :-)
ReplyDeleteHello Miss Jean,
ReplyDeleteGood blog! I think it needs to be emphasized again that its actually the "Mr. Wacks" who typically get the most amount of "play". When you think about it, many young women PREFER the "wack treatment", as the nonchalant attitude that is associated with "wackness" could be (or could easily be mistaken for) MANHOOD, COCKINESS, SWAG AND FLAIR...allow me to explain. (Brothas who KNOW what I'm speaking about, back me up).
Coming from both sides of the spectrum (once a Cornball, to a Mr. Wack and now something in between)...I cannot count how many times I was passed over for being the nice guy. I was always the friend with the shoulder to cry on, while some Mr. Wack got all the ass. I saw NO PARTS of the na-na. LOL! Then when I became "wack", it was me who was wacking down the ass. To this day, I still encounter women who practically wait on me hand and foot, while 5 of her corny servants are feeding her ego, her stomach, and her bank account. And as the story goes, once women get tired of "Mr. Wack's" games, she realizes that the Cornball-leaning dudes were the fly ones all along. Hopefully she doesn't come to this realization too late (5 kids or 50 pounds later). I kinda smirk to myself when I see over the hill women who all of a sudden chase the "good guy" after years of "getting smacked" by Mr. Wack. Men are not completely excused as many of us chase booty over substance for too long. So it does go both ways. (Don't worry ladies, I'm an equal opportunity critic).
In conclusion--at the end of the day, a man who shows himself to have options and NOT too smitten over any one woman too soon, is the one who reaps the benefits. One does not necessarily have to be "wack" to be desired. Yet, being Mr. Wack is SO MUCH EASIER. You can just be an asshole TO THE CORE and still get a considerable amount of play. ESPECIALLY when you have BANK, like C.J. said...you have "yes men/women" all around you, so who's going to keep you grounded?
So the REAL question is (ladies), "what incentive are most women giving all the Mr. Wacks to change?"
Claudia ... Claudia.. Claudia.. this is a good one.. at first i started reading and as a guy we initially put anything of this nature in the "scorned women" box.. but i know u so i knew better... .. so i read on..
ReplyDeleteI am close-- very close to many women.. as i tell them all. you are the ones that make the wack dude .. That dude. i mean.. i think... Read More there was a movie "cant buy me love" there is a more recent one with C. milian in it.. where the nerd pays to be come the man.. and it works... if the wack dude is not empowered it wont work..
I have to chime back in... lets use ur Steve Urkell situation.. I think she deserved to get the Wack Dude.. if she was passing on the right guy all along... think about it.. If you have sum 1 that is right for you but you keep looking for taller, stronger.. dress better all superficial shyt.. then u deserve to fall on ur face.. sumtimes u need to fall on ur face to realize that u need to re-prioritize what qualities u look for in a man...
ReplyDeleteBut please never settle.. i preach that.. i dont believe that at all.. im just saying...
My mom used to say that women will always fall for the "corny gentlemen" and unfortunately many times it's too late. You hit the nail on the head a few times in this post. Suffering with Mr. Wack is a self-inflicted wound for many of these ladies. You create the monster and then keep feeding him. Ladies, stop paying attention to his "wackivity" and call him on the carpet for being wack once you recognize it. And then hold out for Mr. Right... you may find out Mr. Right used to be Mr. Corny
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to end the wackness. DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!!! Set your standards. If the brotha falls below them, dismiss him.
ReplyDeleteIf he's a habitual "texter" and you don't like it, tell him. If he continues, dismiss him!
When you got him on the phone, listen listen and listen. Communicate with him as much as possible and find out what's going on in his head. Believe me, enough conversations will likely reveal consistencies or inconsistencies, his goals, his passions (if he has any.... if he doesn't, dismiss him!), his past and eventually some truths.
We ladies allow this crap to happen to us. We eat the turd they feed us. But, we're so blind to his good looks and false charm that we can't get the true taste of what he has put in our mouths until the truth kicks us in the teeth.
If we set our standards and stick to them, any brotha flying below the radar will crash... As simple as that!
After a few crashes and dismissals, they'll either correct themselves or cross to the other side (other races).
Yeah that is right on point... funny I met Jaleel White when I lived in Orlando too and I found him to be an arrogant prick!! SMH If you see someone from Wackville run the other direction don't even entertain this knuckle head because you will be tight!
ReplyDeletei LOVEEEEEEEE YOUR BLOG!
ReplyDeletei LOVE YOUR BLOG!
ReplyDeletewww.twitter.com/trutschatszli
the classifications are funny, but true! mr. wack can be rehabilitated. BUT it takes a village, meaning don't perpetuate by allowing him to get away w/ the nonsense. if every woman he encountered would unite & stand firm the madness would decrease. i can't say stop, b/c as you know not every one can be rehabilitated. each time the next woman stands firm the seed is planted and will take root.
ReplyDeletefunny but thought provoking perspective claudia.
~tan
Everything stated was pure truth... and sadly, the vicious circle of wackness continues into 2010. I love your blogs. ; )
ReplyDeletethe wack dude in high school turned DJ! ughghg
ReplyDelete