Dear Aspiring Hosts, Actors and especially you Models...

You know I luv you all, right?   So let me talk to you for a moment.

I was going thru submissions...per usual, and I have questions.  Actually, I have concerns.  Actually, I need to help you help me to help you!

When you see Casting notices, do you read them or do you just apply without reading what it is and what information is requested?  Do you just send everything your email allows you to attach, then copy and paste your whole life story or do you actually READ?  Do you submit the same 99 photos for every Casting or do you send a few that are deemed appropriate for each project you submit for?

I'm just not understanding why people don't follow directions!   Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Don’t get me wrong…I'm not mad; but it makes everything more difficult and time consuming when directions are not followed.

For example:

• ·         If a Casting is age specific, why apply if you do not fit the bill?

• ·         If it asks for clear candids, why send pictures in sunglasses?

• ·         If it asks for name, age, contact info and photos, why just send a link and done? We have to now go thru the link to find what we need?

Whyyyyy?

• ·         If it asks for 4 photos, for example 2 professional and 2 candids, why send 40 photos? Now I have to pick 4? Noooooo! You pick 4 and send them.

• ·         If the Casting asks for contact info, why send a link with a sentence that says: "Check my website for contact info." Sooooo...I have to now go thru your website to find the CONTACT tab when the same sentence you sent could have included your number?

Hol' up! Hol' up!

Why are you giving Casting Directors more work? 

I’ll be honest…I delete submissions like that because they come off as arrogant.  Plus, sometimes I don’t have time to take a tour of websites.  Sorry.  But the solution is simple…READ.  A lot of times these notices and postings are not asking for much, and guess what?  If we like you, we will ask for more!

You gotta trust me on this!

Don't blow your chances because you don't feel like reading and following directions...And while I'm in "Don't” mode!

Don't send this: "Contact me for my info" You mean the info I asked for initially in the posting that you did not include?  Deleted!

If in your photo we can tell that it's a wig...Not because we don't think it's possible to grow hair but because of how it is sitting on top of your head...don't  submit that photo.  EVER.

If you are all greasy faced in your photo, don't send that one no matter how cute of a face you think you are making.  Someone you know MUST know how to use photo shop.  They can digitally blot your face.  Ask around or Google how to do it yourself.

And hey Moms who Model...don't send photos of you and your child if it’s not a Casting for mothers and their babies. 

Aspiring Models…don't send photos of you in a group and include instructions on how to figure out which one you are. Befriend a photographer or buy a camera and get someone to take your photos.

By the way…if it's Extra work, there's a HUGE chance that you will NOT be flown out for it.  Just being honest.  Applying from abroad or from a state with a different time zone is cool but think about it before submitting to a Casting that isn't local or is a plane ride away.  You’ll waste your time and the Casting Director’s if you can’t be there for the job. So don't do it if you can't do it!

And last but not least…a more serious issue!  Why do some of you keep sending naked or half naked photos for every Casting?

No matter what it is...from HGTV to MTV to BET to Hosting gigs for HLN or MSG! Whyyyy do you keep submitting Playboy/KingMagazine/SmoothMagazine/BendMeOver type photographs?  Who is telling any of you to send naked or damn near photos for these Castings?  And if your Agents/Managers are sending all these butt and half naked shots, you may want to chat with them.

STOP IT!

How about you go buy some magazines and try different poses and different looks? If you want big gigs, think bigger than magazines that exploit asses. Not that anything is wrong with ass! Haha!

But try visiting Magazine shops or book stores and pick up one or some of these options: Vogue. Bazaar. GQ. Nylon. Elle. Glamour. V. Seventeen. Teen Vogue. Allure. Cosmo. Marie Claire. ID. L’Officiel. W. Kouture. Runway. Black Book. Wallpaper. Hint. Wonderland

And if you want to do Gap Ads, set up a fake Gap Shoot and have those type of photos taken by a professional photographer. You want to do Victoria’s Secret?  Stop with the coochie shots, match your bra and panties or cute boy short set and stand tall, not legs spread!

I’m sharing this because I care and love what I do. I'm in this for the long haul.  Are you?  So let's do this the right way...together.

CMJ

Sorry! I'm Fresh Out of Dots To Connect

Sooooo….I just finished listening to a friend vent to me about being used and left for dead in this wonderful entertainment industry of ours.  An industry unlike any other because it's supposed to be fun, nontraditional, free-spirited, flexible, exciting, exclusive, fabulous., etc.

*Deep breath*

But it seems like entertainment is structured more like corporate 9 to 5s with the back stabbing, using, betrayal, selfishness and my favorite: forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness out of convenience.

Then there is no accountability and also the fear of backlash if you let them know that what was done or how it was done was completely unacceptable.  So nothing is said!  Then "we" make promises to ourselves that we won't ever do THAT again or ever help such-n-such again.  So now we're changing our own behavior because of their behavior!?!?!

Dammit!

Well…change is good; however, if you are naturally a nice, giving, and helpful person who sincerely likes seeing others win, that internal battle is a rough road to travel.

Truuuuuust me!

I curse people out in my head DAILY!  But I'm helping people out DAILY! Sometimes expecting no “thank you” or kind gesture in return because well…people don't do for you unless it's convenient for them or better yet...they just don’t do the reciprocity thing anymore.  It’s not stylish, I guess. (Insert sarcasm here)

So you know what?  I never thought I'd say this but maybe charging people for a connect or help isn't such a bad thing.  I have friends being used for introductions and connections only to be cut out of the equation by opportunists who now thrive because of it. 

How rude!

But don’t get me wrong, I know that certain gestures should not come with a price-tag, however...if you're eating off of someone else's nice gesture while they starve, you're a f*cked up, conniving, selfish, grimy, dirty little troll...and if you act like a stranger, you should pay like one.

Let’s be honest!

Now understand that reciprocation isn't always monetary.  You do not have to give money.  But how are you producing events or shows or getting clients from someone else's contact but don't even part your lips to say thank you or maybe give them an invitation to your now wonderful production? 

For shame!

No one says thank you anymore. Sad but true! Now it's just, "do you know xyz? Can you introduce me to abc? I want to produce an event or show...how do you think I should execute?"

Really? 

Then they get it all done from you helping them and/or your relationship you’ve built for yourself…and the sound of crickets follow.

Oh.

...and most of these horror stories I’m hearing involve women being the culprits!  Now I know we all have 1 or 2 selfish user guy friends too, but this is about WOMEN.  Listen…we're already all allegedly catty and petty as it is. But this, my dear(s) is unbecoming of a lady.

Please and Thank you should be second nature…it’s our specialty!  Follow-up phone calls, Thank-you-cards, and little thoughtful gifts just to say, I appreciate you…we invented that shit! 

What happened?

Now I see why some people charge a la cart for information or deny knowing certain people! Holding on to contacts tight! I get it now! Why? Because if we help you eat, we have to eat too. And if I struggle or starve while you benefit from knowing me yet you conveniently forget me, then something has got to change...and that has to start with me.

Sooooo nothing personal, no hard feelings, no shade intended, not trying to spoil your fun! But ummm, uh, errrr...I'm fresh out of dots to connect.  Sorry! No more help and "for the love" gestures to give.  I'm only giving out daps and hugs.  Connect your own dots.

CMJ

Count Your Blessings!

Everyone struggles…Not everyone advertises it-Matthew A. Cherry

I had a friend over the other day who is going THRU it.  I cooked for us and let her vent.  She was with me all dayyyyyyy! 20 minutes after she left, I was overwhelmed with sadness.

*Deep breath*

We gotta keep the prayer circle going in 2013 and beyond for people suffering because of this recession.

For reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!

And I’m realizing that quite a few people think that it's just about no available jobs out here for those struggling in this economy.

Nope!

It's more than that! Especially for us Freelancers.

Some people get the work and aren't being paid.  Clients and employers are low-balling. Checks are bouncing. Some productions run out of money.  Promises aren't being kept. Companies fold.

Let's not forget the competition is crazy!  You have folks who don't do what you do, as well as you do, applying for what you do...and for less money, sometimes less experience or NONE at all!  And if your experience is greater than the one interviewing you?!!

Pshhhhhhh!

Then you have the beat down Super Heroes :(

...the ones who are lending out money, taking care of loved ones, putting gas in other people’s cars with not much left over for themselves.

So it's not just about lack of jobs...even though that is a huge part of it.  Think about these things when you think life is treating you unfairly.

I fed a hungry friend, let her drink up my fa-vo-rite wine and listened to her vent because last week that was me or someone you might know. Like...I COULD NOT WAIT for her to leave so I could cry.  She has it bad.  And I used to work for her!   

How crazy is that?

You see folks on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram posing as if life is grand yet the skeletons in their closets overfloweth and/OR their struggle is real. So real!

And yes, my friend that I cooked for, liquored up, listened to, and sent home with leftovers is on Social Media…Twitter to be exact.  But no need to identify her.  Why? 

Because in her own words: "The appearance of struggle is even more unattractive than the struggle itself...and Social Media is unforgiving."

That was THE realest shit and the saddest shit ever!

So please do me a favor...Count your blessings!

If you have transportation, food, enough money to hang out with friends, a working cell phone, health insurance, a savings account, heat, water, internet, living parents, hell…how about 1 living parent, ride-or-die-friends, job leads or a job, (even if you hate it)...Count those as blessings!

I see and hear a lot of complaining but I'm thinking...some of us don't have it as badly as we think. And you may never know how good you do have it until you look into the eyes of someone who has it worse than you. 

*Hugs* 

C. M. J

Happy New Year...

Dedicated to the "too nice," the under-dogs, Mr. Nice Guy, the selfless, the ride-or-die, and the masked Super Heroes who always go above and beyond, but rarely get noticed and don't ask for much...

Your greatness is so underrated and under-appreciated!

Even in your moments of weakness, you still manage to stand tall and sacrifice your fears, tears, doubts and insecurities to make others happy and feel whole again. Con-sis-tent-ly!

That kind of friendship, love, and dedication is commendable and you should pat yourself on the back instead of feeling guilty and having thoughts that you're doing too much.

God didn't make any mistakes!

You were made this way for a reason! You are the sugar and spice plus everything nice…AND you're the Good Guy who won't finish last because your kindness puts you ahead of the rest.

It's unfortunate that others don't realize your worth…But such is life, right?

Sometimes it takes someone treating you like shit and those close to you taking you for granted for you to acknowledge and own the fact that you are better and deserve better than how THEY treat you.

Fuck them! They're slooooooooooooooooooow!

You are undeserving of anything less than greatness.  No man or woman can change that.

You are a star and you shine bright like one. Your glow is unstoppable and I see it, love it and pray that my light will lead the way to the greatness destined in me and the greatness you've already achieved by just being you.

Keep that beauty in you going!  Acknowledge it. Claim it. Thank God for all of it! Your humanity, love, loyalty, sincerity, and swag...Now all you need to be is unapologetic. 

I get it!  Now let the rest of these fools catch up.

Happy New Year.

Love Always,
Me...

Where is Your Honor? Man up!

Ok I think some men run their mouths too much. 

Yup…I said it and will say it again.  Why?  Because Women quite often get the blame for talking too much and/or gossiping but many times get their "information" or ammunition from men.  I’m not saying that it’s right, nor am I saying ALL MEN; notice I did say, some!  But I’m noticing a pattern of weak men and it’s frightening! 

Yikes!

If a girl friend of mine is acting bird-like, I check her.  When I step out of line, I get checked.  We do not want bird tendencies amongst us. The same tendencies that some of you complain about but gravitate to and/or exhibit in your own personal lives. That’s right…men can be birds too.

Ugh!

I'm also saying these things because I'm kind of tired of diarrhea-of-the-mouth-dudes who always have something to say about someone or something.  The hypocrisy of, “where is the chill?” or these hypocrite men who criticize e-ve-ry-thing about a woman from hair, complexion, shoes, teeth, occupation and choice of men…especially if she doesn’t choose YOU.  Then all of the sudden she’s a ho, bitch, slut, fatherless and can’t keep a man. 

Wow. 

And what does that say about some of you men who are hoes, bitches, sluts, fatherless and can’t keep a girl?  Where your mothers hoes?  Was she a single mom who couldn’t keep a man? 

Hmmm.

I’m just a bit tired of the one-sidedness of it all.  It also saddens me how it’s just accepted as truth…as if how men view us is how we are defined.

Pshhhhhhhhh!

…and this woman bashing bitter sugary behavior is never from whom you’d expect it from, is it? I’ve come up with a profile that describes who and what I’m talking about:

• The ones who act the hardest when they are really the weakest.

• The smack talking tough guys who swear that they run shit when they only run their mouths.

• The ones who have so much critique for women yet cannot control their own or the ones they sleep with.

• The ones who always let their left hand know what their right hand is doing.

• The ones who think disrespect is cute.

• The ones who say something just to say something so they can look like they are in-the-know.

• The ones who cosign these behaviors.

I’ve also seen men allow their boys to spit on women, hit women, and be verbally abusive to women in front of them….and nothing is done.  I’ve even seen and heard men reveal too much of other people’s business to gain points from people who then turn around and use that info against all parties involved.

I keep hearing the term, “new niggas” being used and as much as I hate to admit it, I am starting to believe there is a new breed of men out here with no guidance or respect for themselves or women.  Who is raising these fools and why in turn are they breeding? 

And some of y’all are slipping by letting your boys slip as well.  Some say "father your daughters" and "father your sons" but I say father your home boys. They need it.

This is a problem and I’m sooooo not used to this!  I’m used to strong men…men with courage and wisdom. Men with fight and honor.  Men who will back you up and hold you down despite what may be popular or unpopular.  Men who know the differences between right and wrong, tactful and reckless. 

You sit and complain to your boys or on Social media sites about how women need to respect themselves and how some of us need guidance. Ok. Same goes for some of your messy, irresponsible, low-life, homeboys who often trade in their self-respect for new ass. Talk to’em!

So do the same for your home boys! Don’t let them slip! And your home girls deserve better as well. Stop calling  women out of their names all willy nilly while allowing your daughters, sisters, aunties and friends to fall. Because if they fail, you fail too. 

Father your sons.  Father your daughters.  Father your homeboys…MAN UP!

Please and thank you. 

CMJ