Sorry! I'm Fresh Out of Dots To Connect

Sooooo….I just finished listening to a friend vent to me about being used and left for dead in this wonderful entertainment industry of ours.  An industry unlike any other because it's supposed to be fun, nontraditional, free-spirited, flexible, exciting, exclusive, fabulous., etc.

*Deep breath*

But it seems like entertainment is structured more like corporate 9 to 5s with the back stabbing, using, betrayal, selfishness and my favorite: forgetfulness.

Forgetfulness out of convenience.

Then there is no accountability and also the fear of backlash if you let them know that what was done or how it was done was completely unacceptable.  So nothing is said!  Then "we" make promises to ourselves that we won't ever do THAT again or ever help such-n-such again.  So now we're changing our own behavior because of their behavior!?!?!

Dammit!

Well…change is good; however, if you are naturally a nice, giving, and helpful person who sincerely likes seeing others win, that internal battle is a rough road to travel.

Truuuuuust me!

I curse people out in my head DAILY!  But I'm helping people out DAILY! Sometimes expecting no “thank you” or kind gesture in return because well…people don't do for you unless it's convenient for them or better yet...they just don’t do the reciprocity thing anymore.  It’s not stylish, I guess. (Insert sarcasm here)

So you know what?  I never thought I'd say this but maybe charging people for a connect or help isn't such a bad thing.  I have friends being used for introductions and connections only to be cut out of the equation by opportunists who now thrive because of it. 

How rude!

But don’t get me wrong, I know that certain gestures should not come with a price-tag, however...if you're eating off of someone else's nice gesture while they starve, you're a f*cked up, conniving, selfish, grimy, dirty little troll...and if you act like a stranger, you should pay like one.

Let’s be honest!

Now understand that reciprocation isn't always monetary.  You do not have to give money.  But how are you producing events or shows or getting clients from someone else's contact but don't even part your lips to say thank you or maybe give them an invitation to your now wonderful production? 

For shame!

No one says thank you anymore. Sad but true! Now it's just, "do you know xyz? Can you introduce me to abc? I want to produce an event or show...how do you think I should execute?"

Really? 

Then they get it all done from you helping them and/or your relationship you’ve built for yourself…and the sound of crickets follow.

Oh.

...and most of these horror stories I’m hearing involve women being the culprits!  Now I know we all have 1 or 2 selfish user guy friends too, but this is about WOMEN.  Listen…we're already all allegedly catty and petty as it is. But this, my dear(s) is unbecoming of a lady.

Please and Thank you should be second nature…it’s our specialty!  Follow-up phone calls, Thank-you-cards, and little thoughtful gifts just to say, I appreciate you…we invented that shit! 

What happened?

Now I see why some people charge a la cart for information or deny knowing certain people! Holding on to contacts tight! I get it now! Why? Because if we help you eat, we have to eat too. And if I struggle or starve while you benefit from knowing me yet you conveniently forget me, then something has got to change...and that has to start with me.

Sooooo nothing personal, no hard feelings, no shade intended, not trying to spoil your fun! But ummm, uh, errrr...I'm fresh out of dots to connect.  Sorry! No more help and "for the love" gestures to give.  I'm only giving out daps and hugs.  Connect your own dots.

CMJ