I used to be afraid to die...but now, not so much. No this isn't a suicide note...this is me being 100% honest with the disgust and disdain I feel for the Human Race. I'd like to remain that person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt until they do something to prove otherwise...but my faith in humanity is diminishing. And its not about taking life for granted...its about taking God for granted.
God gave us Free-will and time after time after time the Human race has gone against all that is good and pure to try and prove that we don't need him....We run this, huh? But in actuality it was a test and we are failing miserably.
I don't think the gift of Free-will was given for people to run-a-muck all over the place...killing, robbing, stealing, lying, not praying & trying to play tough-guy by handling things on their own. As a result we live in a world of disease, natural disasters, selfishness, violence, crime, hunger, abuse & ignorance. Do you think life as we know it is supposed to be this way? This isn't what he had in mind.
Days after my mom passed away, my sister said the one cliche that once made me sick to hear...but now I get it and see clearly what it means and what she meant, "Mommy is in a better place." I hated her for saying that! How could my mother be happier in Heaven rather than being here with me...here with us...here with her grandchildren and friends and other family who loved and valued her so much???
Bullshit!
But now I get it! Who the fuck would want to be here? Maybe it's a better living situation in Heaven, no? To be seated with God knowing that no harm would ever come your way. Fresh air, no taxes, no domestic violence! Disease free, no politics from politicians with hidden agendas...and no bad music. How about no police brutality and "not guilty" verdicts bringing no comfort to loved ones who suffer great losses while others walk free to kill again, hurt again, thieve again. No unexplainable Cancer that causes you to deteriorate before your loved ones. No wanna-be gangstas robbing you for a cell phone and what you may have in your wallet, who STILL decide to take your life away from your daughter, mother, brother & friends.
It must be nice there cause it ain't nice here! I have no choice but to believe it! No stress. All love. No tears. No pain. Just a bunch of HAPPY souls waiting on us to get there...
So who'd want to be here?
RIP Mommy. RIP Papi. RIP Esco. RIP Grand-mere. RIP Dwayne.
Until we meet again...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
This is EXACTLY how i feel. This world is crazy & it's not getting better at all. Great blog & as always you kept it real....
ReplyDeleteI know how you're feeling. I'm tired of hearing all of the bad things going on in this world. I don't have any children and I'm almost afraid to bring any into this world. There has been a major shift in attitudes. You know we're in a f*cked up world when whores (men and women alike) are praised and people living decently and want the best seem to be frowned upon. Just today a hot topic on twitter was about a girl posting prices for BJ. WTF?
ReplyDeleteI take breaks from reading certain blogs because I don't want to hear about another rape case/hidden cameras showing brutality and unimaginable things. When I feel down I spend time with my family. Those moments of laughter and the unconditional love is when my faith in humanity is restored. I'm sorry for your loss and thanks for expressing your personal feelings in this post.
I think your honesty and open-ness says so much. My condolences for your loss and I can sympathize with you. Take your time to heal and don't let anyone push or rush you in that process...as it is a process. Be blessed mama. And a small note, who'd want to be here is right, but the more each of us takes a small bit of responsibility for our immediate surroundings, "here" can be a bit of a better place, one square foot, one person, one heart at a time. -O da supastarr
ReplyDelete