"He’s Just NOT THAT Into You." Is it a White thang?

Okay…maybe I’m asking the wrong questions and may not word all of this correctly…but…uhh…Why are none of the lead characters in the movie,"He’s Just Not That Into You" black? Now I’m not trying to use my Obama Card on this one but I’m saying…..

I have the book. I LOVE the book. I even had the chance to do casting/recruiting for The Greg Behrendt Show…even though it was short-lived. (He’s the author by the way.)

So after finding out that a movie would be produced based on the book…I was excited! I’m not saying this book is the Bible…and although it took me a minute to read it even after meeting the author and getting my free copy…when I read it I felt like I’ve missed out on a whole lot of information I could have used earlier in life. Dammit.

But this isn't about me right now. I’m trippin’ because none of the lead characters are black. Period. Not one…NOT ONE! And I don't get it. Black people don't have relationship issues? We can't relate to the book? First of all the book is like a How to NOT guide for women and how we can sometimes be stupidly oblivious to the obvious. Basically saying…that MotherF#$%^&r is just not into you! He doesn't want you girl! He isn't feeling you. YOU ARE NOT THE ONE…He’s NOT calling because he doesn't want to.

So when Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein wrote the script based on the book…was there a reason all of the main characters casted were white?

Okay I understand that the movie houses want to make their money and want BLOCKBUSTER and DRAW-FOLKS-TO-THE-MOVIE-THEATER actors and actresses on the squad. Okay. So you get a blockbuster chick to be an Executive Producer…(Drew Barrymore) and you get some other blockbuster actors to get on board and guarantee ticket sales. Ben Affleck, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Kevin Connolly…okay. But there were a few slots to fill for leads and they didn’t cast ONE black person. Now there are a few “supporting” cast members who “represent” in the movie. (You know we play “friends” of leads every now and then.) There is also a girl who plays a waitress and a few girls cast as “African Girl” 1, 2 and 3.

(Sigh)

But I’m trying to figure out why none of us could have played lead? “Us” meaning a black person because I don't act. And since I’m in love with CASTING...things like this bother me. Michael Ealy, Queen Latifah, Mehki Phifer, Aisha Tyler, Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington, Golden Brooks, Malinda Williams, Regina King, Blair Underwood, Omar Epps, Tracee Ellis Ross….I mean daaaayum! None of them could have played the role of a person who is having issues with dating or how to date or how to get the hint?

And the Table of Contents of the book do NOT include color, race, ethnicity, size, shape, or form. Let’s check and see:

1. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Asking You Out
2. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Calling You
3. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Dating You
4. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Having Sex With You
5. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Having Sex With Someone Else
6. He’s Just Not That into you if He Only wants to See You When He’s Drunk
7. He’s Just Not That into you if He Doesn’t Want to Marry You
8. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Breaking Up With You
9. He’s Just Not That into you if He Disappeared on You
10. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

So not only can I relate to a few of the contents…but I know black women and men who qualify, can testify, and undoubtedly play the role of anyone in this movie who is supposed to be playing anyone based on the book.

And don’t get me wrong…I’m going to see it. I’m going to see it and probably will like it. I like quite a few movies that I feel could have had a black person as a lead, but may appeal to a majority white demographic.

I LOVED the movie, “The Devil Wears Prada” but Anne Hathaway did NOTHING for me. And side note…In real life...I know sooooo many young black women who work in fashion and who are not only living the life that parallel’s the life the lead character lived in that movie…but they can spot trends, style shoots, sometimes are the only black person on staff and they hold down the wants, needs, and outrageous requests of these “Miranda Priestly” clones in the fashion industry. But a black girl probably wouldn't have brought in Anne Hathaway numbers, right? Is it all about the dollar figure? And maybe a black girl kissing on that cutie from HBO’s ENTOURAGE would still NOT go over too well with the audiences who supported the movie. (He played Anne Hathaway’s man.)

And what about “Bride Wars”? Did anyone see that? I understand the premise and I too would probably beat my best friend’s a** if she thought she was going to be the one to get married at my dream venue after we both accidentally got booked for the same spot on the same day…but the lead actresses were white. Not sure who you can close your eyes and imagine playing the leads but when I close my eyes I can see 2 beautiful and funny as hell black women battle it out to make sure that their day remains THEIR day. Maybe Nia Long? Maybe Jada? Taraji? Hell…maybe even throw in Eva Mendes so folks won't label it a “Black Movie.” But instead it was Anne Hathaway…again…YAWN…and Kate Hudson who also does NOTHING for me. However, I did like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” but could have seen someone else in that role too. Some black women lose guys in less than 10 days…okay?

So let me get back to my original point. I feel that more black actresses and actors need to be considered and sent scripts for some of the movies that don't necessarily appeal to our demo. For me it’s not about a role for a black person either…what I’m saying is if the character doesn't have to be white…then why should the actor be?

I guess it all comes down to the “blockbuster” actors and actresses that draw ticket sales. But what does that say about us? Do we not draw ticket sales? Do we have to only do Tyler Perry Movies? I’m happy for the ones who get to be part of a non-traditional black cast which gives them an opportunity to show the world their talent. Love it. (Taraji is doing it.) Hale has been doing it and demanded it. Will Smith plays characters now…not just the black guy who happens to be….I love it. But some actors aren't at that level yet and deserve the opportunity to just act…not just be the black person in the white movie playing the role that requires the character to be black.

You get it?

Side and ending note: Not saying I’m a fan or not a fan…but Megan Good could definitely be the chick in “Confessions of a Shopaholic.” (Release Date Feb. 13th.)

And another side note…maybe relative…maybe not…But ya’ll know that LIVING SINGLE was the Original Sex in the City, right? Khadijah was Carrie…(the Writer) Maxine was the cold ass emotional-less Miranda…(the Lawyer) Régine was Samantha…(the vixen) And Synclaire James was Charlotte…(the Miss goodie goodie, naïve, sweet innocent neutral one)

Claudia...I'm just sayin'

My Experiences, Observations, Mishaps & What I learned in DC Jan.'09

*Friday, Jan. 16th was the coldest day in the history of cold. That was the day I got into DC.

*All the DC radio stations changed their names to the "OBAMA Station" and said things like..."on your OBAMA DIAL" or "be back in an OBAMA Minute...." and "inaugurating the new year with new music now."

*I saw an ill billboard on New York Ave for beer...it said: "InauguRALE"...get it?

*I saw more OBAMA paraphernalia than sorority and fraternity paraphernalia...ever.

*Black folks were the friendliest I've ever seen.

*DC/Marylanders still say "young" and "joe." Ahhhh...memories of my MSU days.

*Lines for most restaurants were around the corner! (And minimum wait was an hour.)

*On the way to BET HONORS on Saturday...a cop laughed when we asked if the streets were shut down for BET.

*We later found out that the streets were indeed shut down for BET HONORS....ass hole cop.

*Do you think there is something wrong if I think Stevie Wonder should go completely bald? Can his peeps shave his head? The hairline...that's all I have to say.

*Gas prices aren't as cheap in DC as everywhere else

*Obama doesn't Twitter anymore :( I think someone took over twittering for him right after the election...around the time they told him he had to give up the blackberry...even though he's keeping the blackberry.

*The Minks, Furs, and Shearling coats were out!

*President Obama could make a KILLING if he trademarked his "likeness" and name. I saw t-shirts, hats, gloves, cufflinks, motorcycle helmets, sneakers, his face on the metro tickets, hoodies, socks, scarves, nail designs, coffee cups, coffee mugs, a design on a lap top cover, bobble head dolls, basketballs, golf gloves, and Barack Obama signature meals and appetizers at select restaurants.

*Oh...and don't forget the drinks! Barack doesn't even drink...but in his honor a few restaurants capitalized...I mean memorialized him with liquor. There was the Barack-O-Bomb which is Henny, Baileys and Guinness. But I kept it simple with an "Obama Chill." Maybe I should have tried an "Obama Mama" or went over to Ben & Jerry's on M street and had some "YES PECAN" Barack Obama ice cream? Yummy!

*My camera's snap button fell off and I was unable to take photos while in the streets of DC. Me without a camera is like living in a world with no air...air...no air...air.

*I heard a chick call into WPGC FM asking for a party where the "HOOD RATS FOR OBAMA" could go. "We ain't into them ball gowns and allllllll dat."

*The ESPN ZONE in DC was the CRUNKEST ESPN Zone ever! Football and Obama...perfect combo.

*After spending several hours and watching 2 football games at ESPN ZONE...we were told our food would never come due to the Fire Marshall shutting down the kitchen. We snacked on chips and salsa and wouldn't leave...We were hungry....but wouldn't leave...had THE BEST TABLE...but wouldn't leave. Pittsburg won...we left....7 hours later.

*I would have liked to get some mac-n-cheese from B.Smiths @ Union station...she also received an award at BET Honors by the way.

*You can NOT hold your cell phone while driving in DC...even if you are NOT texting, scrolling, or don't have it on. If they see it in your hands...TICKET!

*No one was in the paying-for-a-party mood.

*No one was in a I'll-get-you-in-the-party/

event mood...It was hard enough getting in yourself, right?

*There were NOT enough JumboTrons out at the MALL.

*Kanye West does NOT need a hype man.

*Howard University area is sooooooooooo nice now! New stores, new buildings...really nice.

*Biggie Smalls is the Illest

*Obama weekend didn't stop the weed smokers!

*"Five Guys" burgers are the TRUTH!

*No matter who we were are partying for...chicks find a way to get pissy drunk and get thrown out of VIP.

*No matter how pissy drunk chicks get...they start humping and feeling on their other drunk girlfriends.

*Men do cry

*Obama weekend reminded me of Martha's Vineyard for the 4th of July, FreakNik in ATL, Superbowl, and Black MBA weekend wrapped in one.

*Folks from VA can't drive in DC.

*None of the MCDONALDS in DC sell hot chocolate....whhhhhat?

*Brooklyn is EVERYWHERE.

*Anita Baker isn't that nice of a person but she killed it at BET Honors.

*Anita Bakers stayed at my hotel...gave me a hug and stroked my hair in the dining room/lounge area. (LOL!)

*If you smile and speak softly to a bouncer/security...then crack a joke...he'll let you get away with what he originally yelled at you for ;)

*I met a girl who was naming her soon-to-come new born baby, "Barack." Last name "Samuels."

*Busta Rhymes gained a lot of weight...a lot.

*I'm starting to get tired of DJ's cutting records too short! By the time you close your eyes and put your hands in the air to that song you love....cut to the next record.

*For real...after being introduced...President George W. had a little swagger in his step while walking out at the beginning of the inauguration ceremony.

*I need Aretha Franklin to wear a better bra.

*Although most will disagree, I hated Michelle Obama's swearing-in-ceremony suit. I think she looked grandma at my graduation-ish. However, I loved her inaugural gown and I'm a big fan of wearing white...(I like how white looks against chocolate skin.) But I STILL believe that she should have gone with a black designer.

*VIBE MAGAZINE is almost as nice as I am on Twitter...almost son. Their updates and recaps were on point, though...and very entertaining.

*I miss living in DC.

*We must do better as a people. Our President is Black.

YES WE DID...Claudia Jean

Having a CRUSH-The Best and Worst kept secret.

Having a crush on someone can be the most exciting and fun time of your life. Work crushes, friend crushes, unknown-person crushes...all are equally exhilarating and can provide endless hours of self-entertainment. Well a friend of mine called me today and asked me if I have a crush...It’s sad when one can't even come to mind! (Thanks Jeff for making me think about this today. LOL!)

I do however think a lot about an old crush I had...and I miss having that feeling. As a matter of fact, I think about him quite often. I think about how the crush began and how lifted I felt when someone mentioned his name or if we spoke on the phone. I even thought about how both my 1 girlfriend I told, and my older sister would encourage and damn near curse me out trying to convince me to make a move on him. (Good luck trying to guess who it is, suckas...and let me tell you it was an incomparable high.) Especially because I’ve interacted with him on several levels but have retreated back to my own little world where loving him from a far was okay, but facing possible rejection was not an option.

But let's go backwards for a second. Remember how having crushes in school was easy? You could plan your arrival/lunch/departure schedule to coincide with your object of crushdom...You could ask your friends to spy on him for you, and if you were particularly brave you could send them one of those pink “secret admirer” hearts on Valentine’s Day. Remember those? A dollar, right? And once you started driving, you could do psycho-runs by their house or football practice. Not that I would ever do any of these, (cough cough), I just heard stories from a friend. (Smile)

In college, having crushes got even more fun because you could finagle an invite to a crush’s party or join the same student group. Additionally there was the added possibility of hooking up with the crush, or, in rare instances, actually dating the crush.

Being an adult makes crushing more and less difficult. It’s more difficult because now you’re facing the possibility that he is NOT YOUR TYPE...or maybe YOU aren't his! (Yikes!) Or what about the chance that your crush is in a serious long-term relationship, or even married???

There are those of us who might say “wives are not walls” but for the most part, a significant other is an insurmountable obstacle. And with smaller social circles and less opportunity for non-work interaction, it’s unlikely that you can predict where your crush might be, (and you can't just keep showing up at his/her favorite spot…or check his FaceBook status to see what he's getting into.) This might be innocent behavior but if you take it too far, it usually gets you hit with a restraining order in real life…we don't want that! On the other hand, having developed your google-searching skills, you might be able to dig up more information on an adult crush than on a crush from your younger days.

Some of the saddest lessons I’ve had to learn came as a result of crushes. For me, having a crush is usually completely pointless as it has never happened that a crush has reciprocated my undercover desire. Also, I’ve had only one person ever admit to having a crush on me, which turned out badly, teaching me that you should probably never keep pressing people to tell you things like that, (and that you will probably never ever guess who has a crush on you because most people will never do anything about it).

At this very moment I'm suffering as a result of the most powerful crush I've had in life!!! (Yes...back to the old crush.) And I know...I haven't lived on this earth long enough to discount the fact that another powerful crush-like circumstance may happen...but right now...this is all I've got. What started off as love-at-first-sight turned into countless episodes of nothingness as a result of me being a punk-ass. But when the courage came under much encouragement and more curse out sessions from my sister and my girlfriend...thanks Melyssa and Lissa-Jean...my crush turned into a big disappointment who showed me lack of interest and respect. And the last thing you want is to have your imagination interrupted by the reality that this crush you have...isn't all that. (I'm saying "all that" in my Brooklyn-New York, Flatbush ave, Kings Plaza, pony tail and timbs with the Catholic school uniform skirt-accent...son.) Alllll-lat!

So I say all this and that to say...Crushes are both better and worse than real love. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. They can make you feel alive and produce a smile so big that folks on the train stare. (Yeah...it happened to me.) Or they can stomp on your hopes and dreams...making you wish you never left the comfort of your imagination. But as unproductive as they might be, I hope to never stop having crushes.

Keep love alive...

Claudia

Samples from my radio dayz....when I was Mocha!

Hot 97-NYC, Hot 105-Miami, X102.3-WPB

Click on the links or copy and paste to a new browser ;)

http://www.zshare.net/audio/52258392616ab5c3/

http://www.zshare.net/audio/5638094769886fdf/

F*CK HIM!

(As discussed in the Facebook Group: All's NOT Fair in Love and War)

I compiled this list based on stories and testimonies, (including my own), that have been shared amongst friends. And sometimes all you can say is that 4 letter word! LOL! Feel free to add to it ladies! And yes gentlemen...you can add some F*CK Her(s) too. LOL! And thanks to my gurlz who have already contributed...You know who you are ;)

Here we goooooooooooo!

F*CK HIM if he stands you up after making a date to get together. "Standing up" includes not calling, showing up, or sending any type of "Bat Signal" to let you know that it's not happening. And please...don't text message to cancel the date.

F*CK HIM if he doesn't call you for your birthday and knows when it is.

F*CK HIM if he sleeps with you and enjoys ALL the benefits of the sex...but then tells you that you are NOT his type of girl because you slept together "too soon."

F*CK HIM if he sleeps with you then sleeps with your friend...actually...F*CK HER as well.

F*CK HIM if you invite him over and he tells you he'll come, "If" he "feels up to it..." Huh? Whhhhat you say? Stay home! F*CK HIM 2 times for that one.

F*CK HIM if he asks you out but complains about the drive to come pick you up.

F*CK HIM if he continues to look at his watch and or blackberry during your dinner date.

F*CK HIM if he tells you to "shush" or gives you the be-quiet-finger pressed against his lips so that he can take a call from his baby moms...because he doesn't want her to hear you in the back ground.

F*CK HIM if he tells you he wants a relationship...is tired of the dating scene and blah, blah, blah...sleeps with you...then develops amnesia and tells you that he isn't ready for a relationship and claims he told you in the beginning that he wasn't ready for one.

F*CK HIM if he suggests a three-some.

F*CK HIM if you call him and he texts you back..."what's up?"

F*CK HIM if after you call him, leave him a message, he takes weeks to call you back...and when he calls, it's to ask you for a favor. Really?

F*CK HIM if he tells you he's busy all of the time....but he makes time for the club!

F*CK HIM if his way of asking you out is, "you can meet me there if you want..."

F*CK HIM if he wants all the benefits of a relationship but not the commitment part.

F*CK HIM if he gives a "good looking" female friend of yours his business card for what he claims is "business." LOL! Sorry...had to laugh at that one.

F*CK HIM if he does not call you the day after you 2 have sex.

F*CK HIM if you have to beg him to put on a condom.

F*CK HIM if he doesn't respect your feelings...belittles you...and doesn't listen to your grievances.

F*CK HIM if he tells you he is single but has a girlfriend who lives in another state.

F*CK HIM if he comes over late night but never takes you out.

F*CK HIM if he voted for McCain. LOL! Joking!

F*CK HIM if he doesn't give you closure...just stops calling...no explanation.

F*CK HIM if he is a user, (especially if you raise his stock...but when you need him, he runs?)

F*CK HIM if he can text you back and forth for 2 hours but once you decide to be proactive and call him...he doesn't pick up

F*CK HIM if he invites you away on a trip but expects you to fly yourself out! WTF?

F*CK HIM if he picks you up in another chick's car

F*CK HIM if he allows you to pay for the 1st date without even offering to pay

F*CK HIM if he calls you "selfish" because you don't want a relationship based primarily on sex.

What happened to "DATING"? Is "Casual Sex" all we have left?

I don’t believe in “casual sex.” Not that I’m opposed to it exactly… but in my own experience...no such thing exists. If it’s not emotional, I’m not interested.

First of all...what is so “casual” about it? It’s not like having a casual lunch or going to a casual party or like you wear casual clothing on Fridays at work.

If a dude says, “it’s ONLY physical...” I translate that into, “I don’t care about you...” So let’s not call it “casual” sex. The more accurate word is “heartless.”. No feelings, no regrets. Heartless like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. But even he eventually longed for love, compassion, and a heart.

Sex seems too intense to be taken that lightly...for me anyway. Exciting and uncertain, it involves baring your soul...not just taking off your clothes. You want to see me naked and taste my juices but you don’t plan on calling me on a regular? Naw babe. Not me!

Because sex can be a powerful force of nature we sometimes have no control of, it’s soothing to pretend it’s nooooooo big deal. But for some who feel like it is a big deal or important enough to think about the pros and cons...we can’t pretend.

Me? I’m not built that way and that disappoints many. For me sex without feeling is an empty ritual...a cold mechanical exchange that would leave me lonely and a little sad. Given the choice between that and solitude...I’d prefer to be alone.

So sorry to be a cornball or disappoint those myspace, facebook, and Twitter abusers who hit me up on a daily with a few hints that they would love to engage in some sexually casual bullshit.

I’m the wrong chick.

But I’m not mad at you if you indulge. Do you. And enjoy it however you get it.

What ever happened to the POLITE smoker?

I know I'm going to offend a bunch of people with this blog but at this point I don't care. And I know I can articulate my point way better than this...but there's not enough time for me to write this in the most politically correct, non offensive, "GOD is love" kind of way right now...so fuck it...Here goes!

I have one question...

What happened to the "polite" smoker? What happened to the person who used to stand next to you at a bar, or sit at the next table in a restaurant and would ask..."Do you mind if I smoke?"

Nowadays there are a bunch of rude ass MotherF-kers who don't care if you have asthma, are allergic to cigarettes, can't breathe or maybe even lost someone to lung Cancer or better yet...2nd-hand smoke Lung cancer like what my mom died from last year.

Don't get me wrong....I don't expect any smoker to do a preliminary interview before lighting up...but damn...what happened to just being polite and maybe...just maybe respecting the fact that the people you are smoking around aren't smoking? So why would you sit there and do it?

I went to an event in NYC and this friend of a friend came and sat at our table... (bottle service...VIP...yada yada yada) and she just started smoking. She didn't say shit...she didn't ask shit...she just started smoking. Wait...isn't NYC smoke free INDOORS? Isn't it against the LAW??? I know everyone doesn't follow the rules because I always smell hella weed in every venue I go to. But Cigarettes affect non smokers worse than it affects smokers. I rather smell weed than nicotine but sometimes or should I say as of lately...I don't have a choice unless I leave.

One time on South Beach after a casting I wanted to go buy some accessories for a shoot. So this girl I knew wanted to roll with me and offered to drive. We got in the car, windows up, AC on and guess what she did? She started to smoke. I told her I couldn't take the smoke and if it was cool with her...I'd get out and walk. I wasn't far from where I needed to go. (Lincoln Road, I was on Washington...) She then offered to roll down the windows. What the F$*K???? So just to go down the block you can't just chill? I mean...I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live in my own car but I clearly was ready to jump out while the car was still moving. She rolled down the window and started to drive with her face facing to the left. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus!

I didn't ride back with her. I walked and it was raining but I didn't care. How could I get back in the car with someone who rather not keep her eyes on the road because she has to smoke?

Same shit happened while I was working on a reality show. I had to get some props and a Production Assistant had to drive me around. I didn't know the area so it was cool until he started to smoke. I told him I didn't smoke. He said..."I didn't ask...ha ha ha!" I was totally offended. On top of that he was driving a production van so I felt like I could say something, you know? "It's not your van...it's production's van and I'm part of production!" But he kept on smoking and I had to fight and argue on the way back so that he wouldn't smoke. I'm working on a show now where my producer smokes. What do you do? It's all up and thru the office and I need to work in that location sometimes when I'm not scouting or conducting on-location interviews. Instead of feeling my pain...she opens the window and fans the smoke with her hands when I walk in the room.

And what do you do if you are in NYC and it's cold as shit and you need a ride to a part of town where no one you are hanging with lives and the particular train you need to take stops running at 11 pm and you have clearly stayed at this event passed 11 and a SMOKER offers you a ride?

Yes this happened to me and I accepted but explained that I can't do the smoking thing and don't want to put him out of his way because he wants to smoke. Okay...he still wanted to give me a ride...so we rolled. But he rolled down the window and still smoked. Again I say...what the F$*K????

I had dude drop me off half way and took a cab the rest of the way. And it was cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!

I can't do it! And statistics show that there are more cigarette smokers than ever before regardless of all the "TRUTH" advertisements and other form of campaigns to help educate people on the hazards of smoking. But unless I move to Mars or walk around with an Oxygen tank...what is a non smoking chick to do?

WHERE IN THE HELL HAS THE POLITE SMOKER GONE?

So to all my smoke-a-holics who may take offense...I'm sorry. This is how I'm feeling right now. I know that there is Global warming to worry about along with millions of other things that are wrong with us humans that in turn makes us affect the world or universe negatively. I mean...I forgot to recycle today and put all the garbage in one bag. So I'm not innocent and I do my share of adding to the fucked-up-ness of the world. But just think how much better we could be to and for one another if we were just a bit more careful...a bit more sensitive to one another's needs...a bit more understanding...a bit more polite. Not asking for you to quit...just be polite when you step onto a non-smoking scene.

And if you take offense...here's a smoking middle finger for you.



Claudia...