I don’t believe in “casual sex.” Not that I’m opposed to it exactly… but in my own experience...no such thing exists. If it’s not emotional, I’m not interested.
First of all...what is so “casual” about it? It’s not like having a casual lunch or going to a casual party or like you wear casual clothing on Fridays at work.
If a dude says, “it’s ONLY physical...” I translate that into, “I don’t care about you...” So let’s not call it “casual” sex. The more accurate word is “heartless.”. No feelings, no regrets. Heartless like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. But even he eventually longed for love, compassion, and a heart.
Sex seems too intense to be taken that lightly...for me anyway. Exciting and uncertain, it involves baring your soul...not just taking off your clothes. You want to see me naked and taste my juices but you don’t plan on calling me on a regular? Naw babe. Not me!
Because sex can be a powerful force of nature we sometimes have no control of, it’s soothing to pretend it’s nooooooo big deal. But for some who feel like it is a big deal or important enough to think about the pros and cons...we can’t pretend.
Me? I’m not built that way and that disappoints many. For me sex without feeling is an empty ritual...a cold mechanical exchange that would leave me lonely and a little sad. Given the choice between that and solitude...I’d prefer to be alone.
So sorry to be a cornball or disappoint those myspace, facebook, and Twitter abusers who hit me up on a daily with a few hints that they would love to engage in some sexually casual bullshit.
I’m the wrong chick.
But I’m not mad at you if you indulge. Do you. And enjoy it however you get it.
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I'm in a situation where the sex started out casual and ended up serious. My friends aren't so lucky. I don't normally practice casual sex but it worked in my favor this time. We are happy. But I wouldn't want it to start this way if I find myself single again.
ReplyDeleteLynn
It doesn't seem like guys want relationships anymore. All I've been involved with is casual sex. The dating scene seems dead.
ReplyDeleteI say do what you feel but if it's not for you and you are prone to catching feelings then don't do it. I has it's good and bad sides but I woudn't cancel it out all together. Sometimes you just wanna fuck. But I understand if you want more than that. Better ask that fool first before you drop your drawers.
ReplyDelete~An honest casual sexpert
It ain't like the old days where you can go on a few dates, get comfortable with someone, then see where it goes. Nowadays, most dudes are Swayze if they ain't hittin' the skins after the 1st date.
ReplyDeleteI don't see a problem with casual sex, being that as a guy, there's some chicks who I only see as a piece of ass (usually cause that's all they really have to offer). But for the most part, it only goes down under certain pre-conditions (first & foremost, it must be agreed upon by both parties). Yet, due to the fact that coochie gets boring after a while (especially if all we're doin is rompin), I prefer gettin' to know a woman & see where her mind is at before sex enters into the equation. Last thing I wanna do is have a baby with the wrong chick!
Interesting how guys will so often consider women to be "a piece of ass" and if they have sex outside a relationship then all that the woman has to offer is her ass. I think it's high time for we women to turn the table on men - let THEM know that they have nothing to offer if they're so eager to get laid without making a commitment. What to do you men that fuck everything that moves without question have to offer that trumps what those same women have to offer? Answer: absolutely nothing. You're just as incapable of controlling your loins. To many women that makes YOU the trashy one - who wants to settle down and raise a family with a guy that's willing to hump anything that makes an offer? Think of it like that and you guys will see that you're not any better or worse than us women. You're just as much of a "dirty pig" for having "casual sex" as the woman if you display these behaviors that you judge others for.
ReplyDeleteThis post took the words right out of my mouth. Being a woman, I do not find anything casual about a baby therefore I find nothing casual about sex.
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