Dear Text Message…
Hey, you. Got a minute? There are some things on my mind and I don’t
know how to say this but it needs to be said.
I realize that this isn’t your preferred method of communicating but I
have to do what’s best for me, what’s best for us, what’s best for those who
know us both, and honestly...this isn’t working.
I think we should go our separate ways.
I’m not going to lie and say
it’s not you, it’s me…because it truly is YOU. Now it’s not all on you, but those who use you to communicate with me have not
done you justice and it’s making me resentful in the process. I understand that you don’t have total control
of how people handle you and sometimes abuse your convenient ways…but something
has got to give. I’m at a point where everything
about you annoys me, sometimes angers me and even has me questioning my own
sanity and values. I say all that to say…I
can’t do this with you anymore.
NOPE!
I should have stuck to my guns in the beginning when I never
had you. Remember those days? People would constantly push you on me, side
eye me for not using you, question my carrier service, beg me to try you just
once. I even wrote a blog about dating
and you. “Do you want to date me or Text me?” That was a good one! And I stood my ground for the longest. It was hard explaining to loved ones, friends
and colleagues why you and I didn’t make sense, but it wasn’t about all of them…it
was about me and you.
I never fell for your charm and easily accessible ways
because I preferred the more personable route.
While you serve quickies and resolutions in a NY Minute, I was looking
for more of a commitment…sometimes a paper trail, other times more details in
one email or a quick phone call rather than what 30 annoying back-to-back
messages in a row would provide. When
folks would get upset about tone, I preferred to call so they could hear me and
my words, my inflection, my enthusiasm, happiness or lack thereof.
But it wasn’t easy avoiding you all this time; and some of
the rewards have been great. However… I’ve
gotten the chance to get to know people and get a better understanding of how
they feel by just listening vs. reading what they’d have to say. Even voice mail messages have improved from
people who claim they normally did not do that…but once they realized how easy
it could be and how quickly I’d respond, they’d oblige and continue that method
without much pressure or pain.
I can’t say the same for you though! I stepped out of my comfort zone, joined the masses,
and decided this past Summer to try you out. I
have never been the type to adhere to peer pressure or subscribe to “what’s hot
in these streets,” but I also didn’t want to be like that dated and out-of-style
person you’d see in the club who doesn’t know the latest and greatest fashion
or dances.
I was so hesitant at first
because I knew that once we started, others would follow and I might lose that
personal touch I worked so hard to gain. Nevertheless, I decided to take a
chance and almost 6 months later…I’m ready to let you go.
Now don’t get me wrong…you most definitely have a use. I’ve had THE funniest and sometimes
heartwarming convos via you. I couldn’t believe
it myself! Me? Miss Anti-Text!?! I’ve been so Pro-phone call all this time
that I didn’t realize I was changing, conforming…turning into those I’ve
criticized and avoided because all they do is TEXT. And you’ve come in handy on
many occasions when only quick and short communication has been necessary. Lovely ETA updates, nice hello and good night messages, phone
number/email/address exchanges, smiley faces after a message has gone wrong…only
to make it right, XOXOs from my nieces, jokes from friends, and naughty exchanges
between me and HIM. Ahhhh…good times.
But what about the not-so-good-times? We already know about the car accidents,
deaths, and screen-cap tragedies that end up on Social Media, right?
And how about when you are in the middle of a text convo, a juicy one, and HIM or HER leave you hanging? By the time they text back, you're just skin and bones...
But there have also been misinterpreted
messages, misread tone, unnecessary awkward
silences after receiving or sending something to the wrong person, awkward silences
while waiting on a response to something personal or deep that we’ve shared and
hope isn’t shared with others, and halted movements at the hands of those who
have information needed in order for us to make our next move…literally. You know how crazy it looks to be waiting on you
JUST so I can leave or arrive? And
sometimes you don’t come until the next day!
So what happens next is resentment, anger, distrust, saltiness and…the lies.
YUP!
So many have lied on you so they wouldn’t have to deal with
the consequences. Mind you, these are most likely THE SAME ones who rely on you so
heavily that you wouldn’t know what their actual hands look like! All you see is the phone and heads down. But
that doesn’t stop them from using you as a scapegoat, does it? I didn’t
get the Text. My phone died. I didn’t have service. The connection was bad. I was in a dead spot. I didn’t see it till this morning. You sent a Text? When? I
didn’t know you needed a response.
See…I can only deal with so much. Not that everyone is lying on you but if
there are constant issues with you AND the common denominator is YOU…then YOU
have to go. Sorry.
Maybe we can be friends? I don’t want to completely lose you…especially
since so many people are fond of you. You’re
not all bad! It’s just that some people don’t
know a good thing when they have it and end up spoiling it for the rest of us. So let’s make a deal. I won’t ignore you COMPLETELY, dismiss you, or disable you.
But I will not be able to use you like I have been for the past few months. Only for quick exchanges, an occasional hello
or check in, and ETA/I’ve arrived updates for sure. Maybe. Cool?
But some of these periodically deep, sometimes
critical, ever so often snappy, uncertainly misunderstood, randomly random, impersonally
personal, awkwardly silencing Text messages need to end…today and now.
Call me…
CMJ
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