My personal experiences and lessons learned during this Recession…It’s not all financial

NO ONE IS EXEMPTED OR “RECESSION PROOF”
I’ve had more friends and family who were laid off or fired than you’d believe

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES
Once after leaving a Starbucks, I was approached by a dude who told me he was going to rob me but decided not to because I smiled at him. This left me in shock, fear, and a deep feeling of sadness. He was a 29 year old who lost his job and was hungry. He told me how his kid’s mom wouldn’t let him see his daughter and how he was sleeping on his frat brother’s couch. He needed a haircut, his lips were chapped, and his hands were shaking. I was shaking too! I couldn’t believe his honesty nor could I believe that my smile stopped him from robbing me. And since this was happening in broad daylight, I couldn’t believe he was willing to risk getting caught just to take something from me. I gave him $5.00 and watched him walk to McDonald’s. Not sure if the $5.00 was even enough for a value meal after taxes

“FRIEND” IS A WORD THAT PEOPLE USE TOO LOOSELY
I had some of these “Friends” as long as I had a table at the club or a hook up with the guest list.

I WORK IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY BUT AM NOT “INDUSTRY”
I had on blinders for the longest not noticing how some of these folks make shady and selfish moves on a regular basis. And because I don’t move quite the same, I became disappointed and found myself questioning the validity of my relationships. I believed in that street rule…”if I eat, we all eat,” but I had to de-prioritize and reprioritize who would be at the dinner table with me

PEOPLE ARE HOLDING ON TO THEIR CONTACTS EXTRA TIGHT!
And on the flip-side some have had their hands held out for contacts I have that may benefit them…All this even after they DO NOT or WOULD NOT help me. Don’t get me wrong…it isn’t a requirement that you help me in order for me to help you. But unfortunately there are folks who are not built to lend a helping hand whether it is an introduction to a contact, a recommendation for a gig, or advice. I once asked someone for advice on how to re-brand myself and instead of giving me advice, I was asked for my contacts and potential work load so that they may handle the business I was trying to re-brand myself for

WITH “OTHERS” THERE IS THE PROFESSIONAL CALL BACK
With “us” there is the text message…no room to leave voice mail or no reason to leave voice mail since it won't be listened to because "checking voice mail is annoying"??? Or the best one I’ve heard: “You gotta keep calling me until I pick up”

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP YOU WITHOUT QUESTION…AND THERE ARE SOME WHO WILL ASK YOU ONE HUNDRED TRILLION QUESTIONS BEFORE GIVING YOU THE ANSWER THEY WERE PLANNING TO GIVE ALL ALONG…”NO.”
This is frustrating because as much as some advice can be very beneficial…when there is crunch time I don’t need or want to be quizzed. And although it may not be deliberate, some folks questioned me so hard and so much that I’d end up extremely regretful that I asked in the first place. It’s like a comedian who joked and sorta said…there are some of “us’ you can’t call when you are in trouble because they will question you until your time is up. But there are “others” who will be there before you hang up the phone

TYRA BANKS DOESN’T CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO HER TOP MODEL CONTESTANTS ONCE THEY ARE OFF THE SHOW
Yes…I said it. I didn’t believe this at first since she bases her whole image on caring and sharing and wanting to make a difference in the modeling world for those who don’t have a voice and blah, blah, blah…And because of what I do, I saw for myself: models in distress…all hope lost…opportunities unavailable…multiple calls to her and messages left not returned. Once you are off the show…DO NOT look back ladies

NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING IN THE RECESSION IF YOU AREN’T DOING WELL OR AS WELL AS BEFORE
I recently tried comforting a friend who came over after being served eviction papers. She lost her job months ago and was very depressed. She felt like I’d listen…and I did. Right before she was about to leave I gave her this super long hug that made her say this, “no one really wants to know how I’m doing in this recession, Claudia…No one calls after they find out….I’m not dead yet!” I was so hurt because I cared. There just wasn’t much else I could do for her but listen, feed her, and liquor her up that night. But after she left I realized that I was also hurt because not only did I sympathize, I empathized too.

I’m also “not dead yet!” My phone has rung less and less…calls have not been returned, invites have been fewer, and I found myself checking in with and checking on folks who weren’t doing the same for me. I sometimes went days without human contact and didn’t even notice that I was no longer the “it girl” who some couldn’t hang out without. This made me appreciate my childhood friends more and more who never cared about what I do for a living, always remembered my birthday, and never accidentally asked me about my mother or where she was because they actually knew and respectfully remembered she passed away. Of course this doesn’t apply to all of my people I’ve met along my journeys; and those who this applies to don’t even matter. But I will say this…there are some friends who are super heroes in my eyes. I’ve received a lot of love, support, and inspiration from people I didn’t expect or hadn’t talked to in years or even known for that long. I can’t even forget about strangers I’ve met in person or on Twitter who made personal movements on my behalf because they believed in what I am and what my resume reads. Some even saw beyond what’s on paper and for that I thank them wholeheartedly for not allowing me to lose faith in the human race

I AM MORE CREATIVE UNDER PRESSURE
I have written more…have come up with more show ideas…blogged like crazy…and helped others with their business concepts during some of my down time. Now I have to turn my own wish list into a reality and am looking forward to seeing it all come to life. Thank goodness I haven’t lost the love for what I do and what I can and will accomplish

…Good luck to anyone reading this who may have had a bump in the road caused by this economic crisis. Things seem to be picking up for some of us but for those who feel lost or alone…you aren’t

Reunited and it Feels So Good

Social Networking Websites like Facebook amaze me more and more each day. Every time I find a new “friend”, he or she is actually an old friend who becomes a new friend all over again. But here is where I’m confused and perhaps you all can chime in to help me understand…What made us all lose touch with each other in the first place?

Most of my peeps on Facebook share the same excitement in finding old friends and are just as addicted to this thing as I am. It’s wonderful to see elementary school friends, high school classmates and college crushes all grown up with a family and kids or a great career. Sometimes I log on and find requests from folks I recognize right away because they haven’t changed a bit!

We talk about how close we were or how they thought my mom’s cooking was the bomb. We reminisce down memory lane about relationships gone badly, who was “creeping” and the “freshest” parties… (Remember “Bentleys-Live-Saturday-Night”?) Then we fast forward to today and learn about broken hearts, love finally found, kids in pre-school, and parents who are no longer with us.

Facebook brings us right back to Christmas Eve in each other’s living rooms and reunions that are well overdue. And old co-workers trip me out too because we share the same love or hate for old bosses and other co-workers who may be on Facebook as well. I even found the guy who gave me my first television gig, the person who groomed me for radio and the Shejay who saved my life.

There are also people who have totally changed and I would have never recognized if I saw them on the street! We have all grown into adulthood quite nicely and it makes me happy to see people I’ve shared so many memories with doing the grown-up thing. But the question remains the same…what made us lose touch? If we were once so close, why didn’t we stay in contact?

There are people on Facebook I’ve had at my slumber parties, went to school dances with, got on punishment for, used as an emotional pillow, hung out with so much that folks called us by each others name, vented about my sister to, snuck into clubs to hang with, worked with at a job we hated, hung out at each others houses as teens, pledged with, grew up with, dated, was a big sister to, went away for Spring Break with, sat with at my very first funeral, caused ruckus in B-more with, and were so tight in school that we recently had this very same conversation I’m blogging about now.

So how did we all go from being so close to either not communicating at all or just chit chatting once in a while to find out updates? When you talk to the folks you reunite with on Facebook do you ask yourself or them the same question? Don’t get me wrong, I realize that people grow up and grow apart. But isn’t it crazy how after falling in love with Facebook we pick up where we left off with one another?

Well I’m glad that many of us were able to re-connect. Facebook is the ish! To be honest, having these flashbacks and renewing our special bonds remind me that true friendship really never dies. I did meet new people and started a new life that some of my old friends aren’t necessarily aware of…but new friendships will never take their place or erase the many memories we’ve cherished over the years.

Welcome back!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Claudia