"I like a long haired thick red-bone..."

I went to a get together over the weekend and got pulled into a conversation that was a remix of other convos I’ve had before.

You know the conversations: Light skin vs. dark skin…black girls vs. Spanish girls…not much representation of chocolate/dark skin girls in music videos and yada yada yada. But this time it was in regards to songs played on radio; songs you and I most likely enjoy very much and sing along to in the club or download to our Ipods. As it got later and later and as everyone but me was getting higher and higher…LOL…I got annoyed because although I felt like the points were valid; for the first time I didn’t have a response. No suggestions, no resolution, no great come back and I was stuck.

I felt like a hypocrite since I do sing/rap a long to a few songs that make references to the red bones and caramels, Indian, mixed, Spanish, etc… I am also very guilty of casting girls in videos who fit the same criteria. It’s hard looking beautiful brown girls in the face knowing that the director gave me specific instructions NOT to cast any of “them.” I even recall going to an R&B/Hip-Hop conference where the complexion subject was brought up and the video director on the panel who was darker than Akon stated how dark skin models "are not dimes” and the artists DO NOT want them in their videos.

So I’m part of the problem, huh? I’ve discriminated because of a pay check and so that I could add a video to my casting reel. Then I’d support these “artists” by playing their music and singing a long like everything was fine. WACK!

How do we change this?

I even “tweeted” about it on Twitter.com and got a couple of responses but it mostly fell on deaf ears. Folks had been too busy chatting about the NBA play-offs and the Hatton/Pacquiao fight…let’s not forget the Swine Flu. So I decided to blog a little something something hoping that you guys would chime in. Perhaps this is a good discussion to have? You be the judge.

It all started somewhere on the top floor of high-rise apartment building on a rainy sports filled Saturday night. Drinks…weed…music…drinks…spades…drinks…music and conversation…and as the weed was being passed…here comes topic #1:

PRO-ATHLETE: "No offense to some of ya’ll in this room but Chocolate girls never get shout outs in songs. It’s always "redbone, caramel, butta pecan, etc...”

CO-SIGN FROM CLUB PROMOTER: "Please! You girls are too brainwashed to even notice that in the hottest songs & videos, you get dissed, yet you still sing along and drop it like it’s hot in the club."

PRO-ATHLETE: “To me it isn’t that they’re brainwashed. I think they’re used to getting dissed and just don’t give a f*ck anymore. Like it isn’t worth the fight or the change.”

CHOCOLATE MODEL ROLLING A PHAT ONE: “I get casted sometimes just because I’m darker. I don’t take it as a compliment but I’ll take the check…thank you!”

CLUB PROMOTER: “You are not getting my point. How do you feel about these songs or videos? They ain’t talking about you or anyone who looks like you.”

PRO-ATHLETE #2: “My son’s mom is dark but I haven’t dated any dark or brown girls since I’ve been in the league. I’ll keep it real. As for videos and songs, I do hear them shout out other type chicks but if the song is hot and the beat is hot, no one cares.”

(Sounds of girls in the apartment grumbling under their breaths but no one is really speaking up.)

VERY LIGHT SKIN GIRL ON COUCH: “I’m the only light skin girl in my crew and my girls get offended when n*ggas holla at me saying, “yo light skin, yo red bone but don’t look at them. I get offended too. But I never notice the songs. The video are obvious though. It’s real obvious and it be the same girls.”

ME SPEAKING TO PRO ATHLETE #2: “Why don’t you date dark or brown girls? I know you sleep with some!”

PRO-ATHLETE #2, (while laughing): I don’t know! I travel all over and see so many beautiful women with different bodies, hair, and complexion. I don’t want the norm anymore. I want something different. I think some of ya’ll are cute but I’m just not attracted to girls who are brown or dark anymore. And songs don’t have nothing to do with it but I wouldn’t put it in a song. ”

Wow! I couldn’t say much at all except that I don’t think discriminating within our own race is cool. We should love all of our shades, no? And just as that conversation winded down, the new Young Money featuring Weezy song, “Every Girl” came on and you know WE ALL laughed when we sung along to the 1st verse! Little Wayne right off the bat says:

Uh, I like a long haired thick red-bone
open up her legs then filet mignon…

Damn Weezy…Chocolate girls need love too. But thanks to @iamdeucefly from Twitter who brought me back to one of THE greatest lines ever spit that trumps them all:

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots

Thanks Tupac! I know you care…”if don't nobody else care…”

C.

Initiation...Does who pays depend on who asked whom out?

I just talked to a friend of mine who is having a few problems in his relationship. He does EVERYTHING for his girl and once told me that he does whatever he can to get his girl whatever she wants. That is rare and commendable. He wants to make her happy but she doesn't exactly reciprocate the efforts.

Thus the problems in their relationship.

When you have a guy like that who is NOT a cornball...good looking...great job...loves to travel...buys you gifts...loves to actually spend time with you...your friends love him....and he always speaks in "WE" instead of "I..." it wouldn't hurt to step up your game just a little bit to show your dude you care and appreciate him.

This to me doesn't mean that just to prove your love to him that the roles in the relationship should drastically change. I came from what some may call a traditional and maybe even stereotypical upbringing where the man is " supposed" to do certain things and the woman has things she should do and accept as well...

My homeboy kinda knows that upbringing and lifestyle and because of that accepts his role as the provider and initiator of the going out, spending time, and paying the bill...all of the time.

But now ish is getting a bit old. 2 years into their relationship and he is not feeling as appreciated as he'd like. Without getting fully into details I'll just say that he has gone above and beyond boyfriend duty to show her and explain to her why its important for them to be on the same page and the same team. In other words...he can't do ALL of the work ALL of the time. Not cool.

But he loves her and he puts up with a lot...and since they've been having these issues, she's been trying to be more of an appreciative girlfriend by making little efforts that don't necessarily make him do a happy dance...but the efforts satisfy him enough for him to think that her trying is enough.

Fast forward to the reason I'm typing this up...

Tonight he was minding his bizness...hanging out with friends...having a great time, and she calls him to "initiate" hanging out tonight. He agrees to leave his friends and proceeds to her house.

Here is where the debate begins. She called and told him she wants to do something tonight and she even suggested the restaurant to go to.

Who pays?

Now again...I have some traditional values in me and I believe chivalry still exists. So yeah...the guy usually pays. I get that.

But my argument is if my dude pays ALL OF THE TIME...takes me away ALL OF THE TIME....calls me ALL OF THE TIME...buys me gifts ALL OF THE TIME...and makes me happy ALL OF THE TIME...shouldn't I pay some of the time?

Shouldn't I "initiate" a weekend get-a-way? Shouldn't I maybe pick him up something at the mall? Shouldn't I "initiate" Date Night and maybe follow thru all the way some of the time?

I think if she called just to ask him to go out and suggest a restaurant, and he goes to pick her up, takes her to the very restaurant she suggested, and he ends up paying...................................then it defeats the purpose.

I don't know many 30-ish year old childless guys who spoil the sh*t out of their girls now-a-days. And don't get me wrong...I apologize for those who are part of my gender who take advantage of the good guys who are out there. Yes...horrible and selfish chicks do exist.

So if you have a relationship where the person gives and gives and gives and you take and take and take some more...and all the other person wants every now and then is some effort...does it count as an effort or an "initiation" if you don't pay and if you are the one who asked them out? Or should you follow thru all the way till the end of the date night?

Holla back!

Side note***

Women need to step up their game if dudes like that still exist. And some dudes need a lesson or two as well.

Claudia

My personal experiences and lessons learned during this Recession…It’s not all financial

NO ONE IS EXEMPTED OR “RECESSION PROOF”
I’ve had more friends and family who were laid off or fired than you’d believe

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES
Once after leaving a Starbucks, I was approached by a dude who told me he was going to rob me but decided not to because I smiled at him. This left me in shock, fear, and a deep feeling of sadness. He was a 29 year old who lost his job and was hungry. He told me how his kid’s mom wouldn’t let him see his daughter and how he was sleeping on his frat brother’s couch. He needed a haircut, his lips were chapped, and his hands were shaking. I was shaking too! I couldn’t believe his honesty nor could I believe that my smile stopped him from robbing me. And since this was happening in broad daylight, I couldn’t believe he was willing to risk getting caught just to take something from me. I gave him $5.00 and watched him walk to McDonald’s. Not sure if the $5.00 was even enough for a value meal after taxes

“FRIEND” IS A WORD THAT PEOPLE USE TOO LOOSELY
I had some of these “Friends” as long as I had a table at the club or a hook up with the guest list.

I WORK IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY BUT AM NOT “INDUSTRY”
I had on blinders for the longest not noticing how some of these folks make shady and selfish moves on a regular basis. And because I don’t move quite the same, I became disappointed and found myself questioning the validity of my relationships. I believed in that street rule…”if I eat, we all eat,” but I had to de-prioritize and reprioritize who would be at the dinner table with me

PEOPLE ARE HOLDING ON TO THEIR CONTACTS EXTRA TIGHT!
And on the flip-side some have had their hands held out for contacts I have that may benefit them…All this even after they DO NOT or WOULD NOT help me. Don’t get me wrong…it isn’t a requirement that you help me in order for me to help you. But unfortunately there are folks who are not built to lend a helping hand whether it is an introduction to a contact, a recommendation for a gig, or advice. I once asked someone for advice on how to re-brand myself and instead of giving me advice, I was asked for my contacts and potential work load so that they may handle the business I was trying to re-brand myself for

WITH “OTHERS” THERE IS THE PROFESSIONAL CALL BACK
With “us” there is the text message…no room to leave voice mail or no reason to leave voice mail since it won't be listened to because "checking voice mail is annoying"??? Or the best one I’ve heard: “You gotta keep calling me until I pick up”

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP YOU WITHOUT QUESTION…AND THERE ARE SOME WHO WILL ASK YOU ONE HUNDRED TRILLION QUESTIONS BEFORE GIVING YOU THE ANSWER THEY WERE PLANNING TO GIVE ALL ALONG…”NO.”
This is frustrating because as much as some advice can be very beneficial…when there is crunch time I don’t need or want to be quizzed. And although it may not be deliberate, some folks questioned me so hard and so much that I’d end up extremely regretful that I asked in the first place. It’s like a comedian who joked and sorta said…there are some of “us’ you can’t call when you are in trouble because they will question you until your time is up. But there are “others” who will be there before you hang up the phone

TYRA BANKS DOESN’T CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO HER TOP MODEL CONTESTANTS ONCE THEY ARE OFF THE SHOW
Yes…I said it. I didn’t believe this at first since she bases her whole image on caring and sharing and wanting to make a difference in the modeling world for those who don’t have a voice and blah, blah, blah…And because of what I do, I saw for myself: models in distress…all hope lost…opportunities unavailable…multiple calls to her and messages left not returned. Once you are off the show…DO NOT look back ladies

NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING IN THE RECESSION IF YOU AREN’T DOING WELL OR AS WELL AS BEFORE
I recently tried comforting a friend who came over after being served eviction papers. She lost her job months ago and was very depressed. She felt like I’d listen…and I did. Right before she was about to leave I gave her this super long hug that made her say this, “no one really wants to know how I’m doing in this recession, Claudia…No one calls after they find out….I’m not dead yet!” I was so hurt because I cared. There just wasn’t much else I could do for her but listen, feed her, and liquor her up that night. But after she left I realized that I was also hurt because not only did I sympathize, I empathized too.

I’m also “not dead yet!” My phone has rung less and less…calls have not been returned, invites have been fewer, and I found myself checking in with and checking on folks who weren’t doing the same for me. I sometimes went days without human contact and didn’t even notice that I was no longer the “it girl” who some couldn’t hang out without. This made me appreciate my childhood friends more and more who never cared about what I do for a living, always remembered my birthday, and never accidentally asked me about my mother or where she was because they actually knew and respectfully remembered she passed away. Of course this doesn’t apply to all of my people I’ve met along my journeys; and those who this applies to don’t even matter. But I will say this…there are some friends who are super heroes in my eyes. I’ve received a lot of love, support, and inspiration from people I didn’t expect or hadn’t talked to in years or even known for that long. I can’t even forget about strangers I’ve met in person or on Twitter who made personal movements on my behalf because they believed in what I am and what my resume reads. Some even saw beyond what’s on paper and for that I thank them wholeheartedly for not allowing me to lose faith in the human race

I AM MORE CREATIVE UNDER PRESSURE
I have written more…have come up with more show ideas…blogged like crazy…and helped others with their business concepts during some of my down time. Now I have to turn my own wish list into a reality and am looking forward to seeing it all come to life. Thank goodness I haven’t lost the love for what I do and what I can and will accomplish

…Good luck to anyone reading this who may have had a bump in the road caused by this economic crisis. Things seem to be picking up for some of us but for those who feel lost or alone…you aren’t

Reunited and it Feels So Good

Social Networking Websites like Facebook amaze me more and more each day. Every time I find a new “friend”, he or she is actually an old friend who becomes a new friend all over again. But here is where I’m confused and perhaps you all can chime in to help me understand…What made us all lose touch with each other in the first place?

Most of my peeps on Facebook share the same excitement in finding old friends and are just as addicted to this thing as I am. It’s wonderful to see elementary school friends, high school classmates and college crushes all grown up with a family and kids or a great career. Sometimes I log on and find requests from folks I recognize right away because they haven’t changed a bit!

We talk about how close we were or how they thought my mom’s cooking was the bomb. We reminisce down memory lane about relationships gone badly, who was “creeping” and the “freshest” parties… (Remember “Bentleys-Live-Saturday-Night”?) Then we fast forward to today and learn about broken hearts, love finally found, kids in pre-school, and parents who are no longer with us.

Facebook brings us right back to Christmas Eve in each other’s living rooms and reunions that are well overdue. And old co-workers trip me out too because we share the same love or hate for old bosses and other co-workers who may be on Facebook as well. I even found the guy who gave me my first television gig, the person who groomed me for radio and the Shejay who saved my life.

There are also people who have totally changed and I would have never recognized if I saw them on the street! We have all grown into adulthood quite nicely and it makes me happy to see people I’ve shared so many memories with doing the grown-up thing. But the question remains the same…what made us lose touch? If we were once so close, why didn’t we stay in contact?

There are people on Facebook I’ve had at my slumber parties, went to school dances with, got on punishment for, used as an emotional pillow, hung out with so much that folks called us by each others name, vented about my sister to, snuck into clubs to hang with, worked with at a job we hated, hung out at each others houses as teens, pledged with, grew up with, dated, was a big sister to, went away for Spring Break with, sat with at my very first funeral, caused ruckus in B-more with, and were so tight in school that we recently had this very same conversation I’m blogging about now.

So how did we all go from being so close to either not communicating at all or just chit chatting once in a while to find out updates? When you talk to the folks you reunite with on Facebook do you ask yourself or them the same question? Don’t get me wrong, I realize that people grow up and grow apart. But isn’t it crazy how after falling in love with Facebook we pick up where we left off with one another?

Well I’m glad that many of us were able to re-connect. Facebook is the ish! To be honest, having these flashbacks and renewing our special bonds remind me that true friendship really never dies. I did meet new people and started a new life that some of my old friends aren’t necessarily aware of…but new friendships will never take their place or erase the many memories we’ve cherished over the years.

Welcome back!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Claudia

Do You Want to Date Me or Text Me?

Let me get right to the point. I’m not a huge fan of text messaging. I don’t hate it, but it’s not my preferred method of communication. I use it when I can’t talk but I don’t use it to replace conversation or to conduct business. So if I’m busy and I MUST text back…I say it in quick text. I also may send a phone number or an address…give a quick update or eta…let someone know to check an email…let someone know I’ve arrived or tell someone my location in a party or at a game so they can find me.

I don’t have issues with informative texts like that because they are simple and to the point. Sometimes you can add a little happy face to make it more personable but otherwise…I don’t want to recap the entire night or give you a list of who showed up over text.

Bizreport.com reports that the average U.S. mobile phone subscriber now sends and receives more text messages than voice calls. Included in the research are typical U.S. teenagers who send and receive over 1,700 text messages per month.

So does this mean we should all keep up with what seems to be the “hip” and technologically savvy thing to do? Or are we falling behind when it comes to creating, developing and nurturing relationships?

Or are we just too busy to talk?

With Facebook, Twitter and other social websites it seems to me that people don’t want to talk! And God forbid someone calls you and you don’t pick up. Nowadays people won’t leave you a voicemail message but expect you to scroll thru your missed call log just in case none of your new calls bumped them off the list. But wait…what if they aren’t on the missed calls log? How would one know you called?

What annoys me even more is when someone texts me and I don’t reply…they then decide not to call only assuming that I got the text. So you don’t call? So instead of the inviting me over the phone or verbally telling me the story you were dying for me to hear…you send a text…wait 9 days then curse me out for not returning your text?

And what about when it comes to dating? I guess it all depends on how you met the person, huh? Or doesn’t it? What are the new rules of communication when it comes to dating or being in a relationship? If you start off texting and I reply, does that mean I’ve given you license to never call me? I know a girl who NEVER spoke to the guy she was dating on the phone. Only time she heard his voice was when they saw each other. I have another friend who convinced herself that it’s easier to communicate with a guy thru text. Her words, “I learn more about guys via text messaging because most of the time they hold back on the phone.” I’m still laughing at one friend who used to swear by it but then after getting disappointed by her habitual texting male friends…she decided that enough was enough. Welcome Home, Liris :)

I’m not saying any of this is false nor am I co-signing it. I’m saying that sh*t doesn’t work for me…PERIOD. I did some research and found that I’m not alone.

ANYNOMOUS 1: I HATE it when guys text me after I give them my number. It’s not a deal breaker but it does seem to send a message that either says he has few social skills, no courtesy, or no time. (Often all 3.) Once I've known him a bit I don't mind it, and actually often prefer it, but at first it’s kind of a put off.
ANYNOMOUS 2: I rather talk to you than text you. Calling and talking is like a sign of confidence in my book. I broke up with a girl because all she did was text me even after we kind of gotten to know each other. I don't want to have an important conversation over text. And what if I didn’t get the text? Then what? You going to stare at the phone?
ANYNOMOUS 3: Text if you're in a loud club and unable to hear and need to get in contact, but other than that, let her hear your voice.
ANYNOMOUS 4: It's good to know that some people still believe in calling and I really think it’s a sign of sincerity. But seems like some people these days just rather do texting. But whatever. I'll play their stupid little game. Perhaps calling and talking has become an old fashioned thing, but something we still need to practice.
ANYNOMOUS 5: My 15 year old niece is on a family plan with me. She has about 2800 text messages a month and uses very little phone time. She said that none of her friends email or call. They text and contact each other on Facebook.
ANYNOMOUS 6: A guy that sends texts instead of making that initial call is a coward in my book. I'm not a phone person so I keep it short and sweet, but effort counts with me. Some idiot once kept messaging, trying to get ME to call HIM. Needless to say, I stopped responding after the 4th text and he was left wondering why. But he never called. Loser.
ANYNOMOUS 7: A lady appreciates the extra effort it takes to text her…and being able to forward it to all her friends so they can laugh at the sender. LOL!
ANYNOMOUS 8: I like the personal call. I'm just old school like that, but my peeps know I'm at work 60+ hours a week so they Text me most days and I sent a Voice file back. But if I were a personal with a normal 40 hr/week job, I'd expect you to be calling me and leaving clever little messages.
ANYNOMOUS 9: Texting rather than calling seems to be a frequent phenomenon. If a girl can't be bothered to actually call me, though, I don't take her seriously and won't contact her again.
ANYNOMOUS 10: If all else fails, grow a damn pair! Communicate with her how you damn feel like it and hopefully you’ll do it by calling. If that doesn’t match her ridic preferences, screw it, you keep going. Just do you. Any girl that is annoyed because you didn't ascertain the correct cryptic phone/texting ratio is not the one for you. Keep moving on. But if you like her that much and are interested enough to stress over this, call her. Why text her if she wants a call? You won’t get her that way. Idiot.
ANYNOMOUS 11: Yeah what a habit....texting instead of calling. Sometimes text messages are not reliable, because sometimes we don't get them right away.
ANYNOMOUS 12: Here’s an honest answer for you, folks who text don’t want to talk to you. If they like you like that, they will call.
ANYNOMOUS 13: I used to talk to this one girl and because I wanted to try and be more gentlemanly, I would call her instead of texting. But most of the time she would not pick up and text me back like 30 mins later and start a convo there. WACKKKKKKK.

And yes….these are answers from real people…LOL!

Now looka here...I’m not reprimanding anyone for their preferred method of communicating. I’m just sharing my thoughts. I don’t know how close we can get over text messaging but I guess one can say the same thing about Facebook and Twitter..unless you send DMs...ummm hmmm. But it gives you the excuse not to ever pick up the phone, right? And you can send out mass Holiday shout outs with one text. And Facebook tells you when your friend’s birthdays are coming up so now you don’t even have to send out a card. When was the last time you got a birthday card in the mail? Thank GOD I still do. But I sent out a card to a habitual texter and he didn’t even call to say thank you. He sent a text though ;)

25 Random Things about me...Claudia Jean

So FaceBook caught the chain letter disease and this "25 Random Things about me" list has been going around like crazy. It's basically a list of "random" things most folks wouldn't necessarily know about you. It's kind of fun to read things your friends had to dig deep to share. So when it became my turn...I figured...What the hell?!

I shared it with my 600 plus list of friends on Facebook.com so why not on my blog, right? So here we go!

1. When I was 13, I told both my parents that when I grew up I would work for MTV and BET and direct music videos. I worked and still freelance for both but never directed a video. But I write treatments for directors and some of the videos have been on 106th and Park and MTV Jamz.

2. Even though I know quite a few...I was ALWAYS the only CLAUDIA in my class

3. I don't discuss sex...(my) sexcapades. Because of that I was recently cursed out by my home girl who says I'm "stingy" with my "dirty secrets" which caused her to yell, "Bitch! Who are you f*cking?"

4. I was "on line" for a sorority in college for over 5 weeks and they "dropped" the "line" mysteriously at 7am one morning. We all reported to "big sister's" house as planned that evening thinking it was just a test...She came to the door acting like she didn't know us and threatened to call the cops. She also gave us the sorority official website and told us to apply there if interested. LOL! We found out later that someone called nationals and informed them that there was some illegal pledging going on. Oh well.

5. Everyone keeps telling me I'd be a great Publicist while I'm passionate about Casting and story telling, (Documentaries, Lifestyle & Reality tv) So because of that I'm my own worst publicist.

6. I'm Haitian and yes Voodoo is real. I don't practice nor do I know anyone personally who does. But I don't question the validity.

7. I have a Biggie/Lil Kim story from something I witnessed with my own eyes while interning at HOT 97. Haven't been a Biggie fan since.

8. On-the-low, I was once engaged. I still have the ring.

9. I started school early and got skipped in elementary school so I was always the youngest in my class.

10. When I'm feeling down, I listen to the "Get By" remix with Mos Def, Talib, Kanye, Jay-Z, and Busta. I do an ill happy dance to it.

11. Years ago when I was working @ HOT 97...Jay-Z came on as "Ladies Night's" 1st male guest and said something really f*cked up to me off the mic that I held against him till I recently saw him and reminded him of what occurred. He said, " Wow! That was f*cked up." He gave me a big hug and apologized. Then he laughed so hard it was contagious! He then said, "wow! For real?! Really f*cked up" and hugged me again. And laughed some more. I laughed too...with an evil eye. LOL.

12. I am a "morning person." I sing in the shower and everything!

13. I play piano but can't read music, I used to play drums until I started to go deaf and I can't sing but love karaoke.

14. In high school I marked a religious question on one of my finals, "incorrectly" because I didn't believe the answer to be true. The question was..."Jesus Christ and God are the same person." I chose FALSE. The next day my teacher and guidance counselor called me in because they knew I marked it "wrong" on purpose. They changed my answer.

15. For one semester in college I worked on a season of HBO's The Chris Rock show and was allowed to book a bunch of classmates as audience for one episode. My classmates were allowed to stay behind when we were done taping and Chris came out, met everyone, gave out hugs, and took photos. I couldn't believe he did that for me because he would NEVER stay after to do that with audience. I was so gassed and grateful.

16. I gradually grew into my "sexy" so please stop asking if "they" are real. Lol!

17. One of my favorite movies is "Falling Down" with Michael Douglas...I get it. And speaking of movies, I don't watch Sci-fi or horrors. No, I've never seen "Matrix" or "Halloween."

18. I have a public restroom phobia...I will not go in a stall if someone JUST came out of it. I can't and won't do it.

19. In college I played tennis and started on JV. Got bumped up to Varsity but didn't do well enough to start. Eventually I got benched. But I refused to go back to JV so I stopped all together. As for highschool sports, I used to fence for a regional co-ed team.

20. My radio name was chosen for me because the program director thought CLAUDIA JEAN was corny.

21. As for food, my favorite cuisine is Italian, I don't eat seafood, and when I was 4 or 5 years old, I saw a chick being hatched and ever since then I haven't been able to eat eggs.

22. When I was a kid I had a huge crush on this former NY Knick and even was the ONLY girl @ his bball camp one year. When I met him as an adult, he wanted to "take me home." As sexy as I thought he was and as much as I told him that I wanted to marry him at our bball camp awards ceremony @ Harlem Hospital...I was so not feeling him that night! It wasn't the same love I had as a kid :(

23. My sister was the meanest, most horrible, nightmarish driving instructor in the world! But because of her, I'm the greatest driver and can flow nicely thru NYC and pay no attention to the senior citizens and 14 year old drivers in Miami.

24. In college my boyfriend tickled me so much and so hard one time that I lost it...the tickle. So now I'm no longer ticklish. Its completely gone.

25. I give to the homeless on the streets. $1.00, $2.00, or whatever. I imagine one of them being someone's parent which makes me think of mine...so I do it.

Bonus:

26. I know I should keep in better touch with friends and family. I promise to do better.

Okay! YOUR TURN ;)

"He’s Just NOT THAT Into You." Is it a White thang?

Okay…maybe I’m asking the wrong questions and may not word all of this correctly…but…uhh…Why are none of the lead characters in the movie,"He’s Just Not That Into You" black? Now I’m not trying to use my Obama Card on this one but I’m saying…..

I have the book. I LOVE the book. I even had the chance to do casting/recruiting for The Greg Behrendt Show…even though it was short-lived. (He’s the author by the way.)

So after finding out that a movie would be produced based on the book…I was excited! I’m not saying this book is the Bible…and although it took me a minute to read it even after meeting the author and getting my free copy…when I read it I felt like I’ve missed out on a whole lot of information I could have used earlier in life. Dammit.

But this isn't about me right now. I’m trippin’ because none of the lead characters are black. Period. Not one…NOT ONE! And I don't get it. Black people don't have relationship issues? We can't relate to the book? First of all the book is like a How to NOT guide for women and how we can sometimes be stupidly oblivious to the obvious. Basically saying…that MotherF#$%^&r is just not into you! He doesn't want you girl! He isn't feeling you. YOU ARE NOT THE ONE…He’s NOT calling because he doesn't want to.

So when Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein wrote the script based on the book…was there a reason all of the main characters casted were white?

Okay I understand that the movie houses want to make their money and want BLOCKBUSTER and DRAW-FOLKS-TO-THE-MOVIE-THEATER actors and actresses on the squad. Okay. So you get a blockbuster chick to be an Executive Producer…(Drew Barrymore) and you get some other blockbuster actors to get on board and guarantee ticket sales. Ben Affleck, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Kevin Connolly…okay. But there were a few slots to fill for leads and they didn’t cast ONE black person. Now there are a few “supporting” cast members who “represent” in the movie. (You know we play “friends” of leads every now and then.) There is also a girl who plays a waitress and a few girls cast as “African Girl” 1, 2 and 3.

(Sigh)

But I’m trying to figure out why none of us could have played lead? “Us” meaning a black person because I don't act. And since I’m in love with CASTING...things like this bother me. Michael Ealy, Queen Latifah, Mehki Phifer, Aisha Tyler, Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington, Golden Brooks, Malinda Williams, Regina King, Blair Underwood, Omar Epps, Tracee Ellis Ross….I mean daaaayum! None of them could have played the role of a person who is having issues with dating or how to date or how to get the hint?

And the Table of Contents of the book do NOT include color, race, ethnicity, size, shape, or form. Let’s check and see:

1. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Asking You Out
2. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Calling You
3. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Dating You
4. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Not Having Sex With You
5. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Having Sex With Someone Else
6. He’s Just Not That into you if He Only wants to See You When He’s Drunk
7. He’s Just Not That into you if He Doesn’t Want to Marry You
8. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Breaking Up With You
9. He’s Just Not That into you if He Disappeared on You
10. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)
11. He’s Just Not That into you if He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

So not only can I relate to a few of the contents…but I know black women and men who qualify, can testify, and undoubtedly play the role of anyone in this movie who is supposed to be playing anyone based on the book.

And don’t get me wrong…I’m going to see it. I’m going to see it and probably will like it. I like quite a few movies that I feel could have had a black person as a lead, but may appeal to a majority white demographic.

I LOVED the movie, “The Devil Wears Prada” but Anne Hathaway did NOTHING for me. And side note…In real life...I know sooooo many young black women who work in fashion and who are not only living the life that parallel’s the life the lead character lived in that movie…but they can spot trends, style shoots, sometimes are the only black person on staff and they hold down the wants, needs, and outrageous requests of these “Miranda Priestly” clones in the fashion industry. But a black girl probably wouldn't have brought in Anne Hathaway numbers, right? Is it all about the dollar figure? And maybe a black girl kissing on that cutie from HBO’s ENTOURAGE would still NOT go over too well with the audiences who supported the movie. (He played Anne Hathaway’s man.)

And what about “Bride Wars”? Did anyone see that? I understand the premise and I too would probably beat my best friend’s a** if she thought she was going to be the one to get married at my dream venue after we both accidentally got booked for the same spot on the same day…but the lead actresses were white. Not sure who you can close your eyes and imagine playing the leads but when I close my eyes I can see 2 beautiful and funny as hell black women battle it out to make sure that their day remains THEIR day. Maybe Nia Long? Maybe Jada? Taraji? Hell…maybe even throw in Eva Mendes so folks won't label it a “Black Movie.” But instead it was Anne Hathaway…again…YAWN…and Kate Hudson who also does NOTHING for me. However, I did like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” but could have seen someone else in that role too. Some black women lose guys in less than 10 days…okay?

So let me get back to my original point. I feel that more black actresses and actors need to be considered and sent scripts for some of the movies that don't necessarily appeal to our demo. For me it’s not about a role for a black person either…what I’m saying is if the character doesn't have to be white…then why should the actor be?

I guess it all comes down to the “blockbuster” actors and actresses that draw ticket sales. But what does that say about us? Do we not draw ticket sales? Do we have to only do Tyler Perry Movies? I’m happy for the ones who get to be part of a non-traditional black cast which gives them an opportunity to show the world their talent. Love it. (Taraji is doing it.) Hale has been doing it and demanded it. Will Smith plays characters now…not just the black guy who happens to be….I love it. But some actors aren't at that level yet and deserve the opportunity to just act…not just be the black person in the white movie playing the role that requires the character to be black.

You get it?

Side and ending note: Not saying I’m a fan or not a fan…but Megan Good could definitely be the chick in “Confessions of a Shopaholic.” (Release Date Feb. 13th.)

And another side note…maybe relative…maybe not…But ya’ll know that LIVING SINGLE was the Original Sex in the City, right? Khadijah was Carrie…(the Writer) Maxine was the cold ass emotional-less Miranda…(the Lawyer) Régine was Samantha…(the vixen) And Synclaire James was Charlotte…(the Miss goodie goodie, naïve, sweet innocent neutral one)

Claudia...I'm just sayin'