Count Your Blessings!

Everyone struggles…Not everyone advertises it-Matthew A. Cherry

I had a friend over the other day who is going THRU it.  I cooked for us and let her vent.  She was with me all dayyyyyyy! 20 minutes after she left, I was overwhelmed with sadness.

*Deep breath*

We gotta keep the prayer circle going in 2013 and beyond for people suffering because of this recession.

For reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!

And I’m realizing that quite a few people think that it's just about no available jobs out here for those struggling in this economy.

Nope!

It's more than that! Especially for us Freelancers.

Some people get the work and aren't being paid.  Clients and employers are low-balling. Checks are bouncing. Some productions run out of money.  Promises aren't being kept. Companies fold.

Let's not forget the competition is crazy!  You have folks who don't do what you do, as well as you do, applying for what you do...and for less money, sometimes less experience or NONE at all!  And if your experience is greater than the one interviewing you?!!

Pshhhhhhh!

Then you have the beat down Super Heroes :(

...the ones who are lending out money, taking care of loved ones, putting gas in other people’s cars with not much left over for themselves.

So it's not just about lack of jobs...even though that is a huge part of it.  Think about these things when you think life is treating you unfairly.

I fed a hungry friend, let her drink up my fa-vo-rite wine and listened to her vent because last week that was me or someone you might know. Like...I COULD NOT WAIT for her to leave so I could cry.  She has it bad.  And I used to work for her!   

How crazy is that?

You see folks on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram posing as if life is grand yet the skeletons in their closets overfloweth and/OR their struggle is real. So real!

And yes, my friend that I cooked for, liquored up, listened to, and sent home with leftovers is on Social Media…Twitter to be exact.  But no need to identify her.  Why? 

Because in her own words: "The appearance of struggle is even more unattractive than the struggle itself...and Social Media is unforgiving."

That was THE realest shit and the saddest shit ever!

So please do me a favor...Count your blessings!

If you have transportation, food, enough money to hang out with friends, a working cell phone, health insurance, a savings account, heat, water, internet, living parents, hell…how about 1 living parent, ride-or-die-friends, job leads or a job, (even if you hate it)...Count those as blessings!

I see and hear a lot of complaining but I'm thinking...some of us don't have it as badly as we think. And you may never know how good you do have it until you look into the eyes of someone who has it worse than you. 

*Hugs* 

C. M. J

Happy New Year...

Dedicated to the "too nice," the under-dogs, Mr. Nice Guy, the selfless, the ride-or-die, and the masked Super Heroes who always go above and beyond, but rarely get noticed and don't ask for much...

Your greatness is so underrated and under-appreciated!

Even in your moments of weakness, you still manage to stand tall and sacrifice your fears, tears, doubts and insecurities to make others happy and feel whole again. Con-sis-tent-ly!

That kind of friendship, love, and dedication is commendable and you should pat yourself on the back instead of feeling guilty and having thoughts that you're doing too much.

God didn't make any mistakes!

You were made this way for a reason! You are the sugar and spice plus everything nice…AND you're the Good Guy who won't finish last because your kindness puts you ahead of the rest.

It's unfortunate that others don't realize your worth…But such is life, right?

Sometimes it takes someone treating you like shit and those close to you taking you for granted for you to acknowledge and own the fact that you are better and deserve better than how THEY treat you.

Fuck them! They're slooooooooooooooooooow!

You are undeserving of anything less than greatness.  No man or woman can change that.

You are a star and you shine bright like one. Your glow is unstoppable and I see it, love it and pray that my light will lead the way to the greatness destined in me and the greatness you've already achieved by just being you.

Keep that beauty in you going!  Acknowledge it. Claim it. Thank God for all of it! Your humanity, love, loyalty, sincerity, and swag...Now all you need to be is unapologetic. 

I get it!  Now let the rest of these fools catch up.

Happy New Year.

Love Always,
Me...

Where is Your Honor? Man up!

Ok I think some men run their mouths too much. 

Yup…I said it and will say it again.  Why?  Because Women quite often get the blame for talking too much and/or gossiping but many times get their "information" or ammunition from men.  I’m not saying that it’s right, nor am I saying ALL MEN; notice I did say, some!  But I’m noticing a pattern of weak men and it’s frightening! 

Yikes!

If a girl friend of mine is acting bird-like, I check her.  When I step out of line, I get checked.  We do not want bird tendencies amongst us. The same tendencies that some of you complain about but gravitate to and/or exhibit in your own personal lives. That’s right…men can be birds too.

Ugh!

I'm also saying these things because I'm kind of tired of diarrhea-of-the-mouth-dudes who always have something to say about someone or something.  The hypocrisy of, “where is the chill?” or these hypocrite men who criticize e-ve-ry-thing about a woman from hair, complexion, shoes, teeth, occupation and choice of men…especially if she doesn’t choose YOU.  Then all of the sudden she’s a ho, bitch, slut, fatherless and can’t keep a man. 

Wow. 

And what does that say about some of you men who are hoes, bitches, sluts, fatherless and can’t keep a girl?  Where your mothers hoes?  Was she a single mom who couldn’t keep a man? 

Hmmm.

I’m just a bit tired of the one-sidedness of it all.  It also saddens me how it’s just accepted as truth…as if how men view us is how we are defined.

Pshhhhhhhhh!

…and this woman bashing bitter sugary behavior is never from whom you’d expect it from, is it? I’ve come up with a profile that describes who and what I’m talking about:

• The ones who act the hardest when they are really the weakest.

• The smack talking tough guys who swear that they run shit when they only run their mouths.

• The ones who have so much critique for women yet cannot control their own or the ones they sleep with.

• The ones who always let their left hand know what their right hand is doing.

• The ones who think disrespect is cute.

• The ones who say something just to say something so they can look like they are in-the-know.

• The ones who cosign these behaviors.

I’ve also seen men allow their boys to spit on women, hit women, and be verbally abusive to women in front of them….and nothing is done.  I’ve even seen and heard men reveal too much of other people’s business to gain points from people who then turn around and use that info against all parties involved.

I keep hearing the term, “new niggas” being used and as much as I hate to admit it, I am starting to believe there is a new breed of men out here with no guidance or respect for themselves or women.  Who is raising these fools and why in turn are they breeding? 

And some of y’all are slipping by letting your boys slip as well.  Some say "father your daughters" and "father your sons" but I say father your home boys. They need it.

This is a problem and I’m sooooo not used to this!  I’m used to strong men…men with courage and wisdom. Men with fight and honor.  Men who will back you up and hold you down despite what may be popular or unpopular.  Men who know the differences between right and wrong, tactful and reckless. 

You sit and complain to your boys or on Social media sites about how women need to respect themselves and how some of us need guidance. Ok. Same goes for some of your messy, irresponsible, low-life, homeboys who often trade in their self-respect for new ass. Talk to’em!

So do the same for your home boys! Don’t let them slip! And your home girls deserve better as well. Stop calling  women out of their names all willy nilly while allowing your daughters, sisters, aunties and friends to fall. Because if they fail, you fail too. 

Father your sons.  Father your daughters.  Father your homeboys…MAN UP!

Please and thank you. 

CMJ

Cousins...

I’ve been thinking about family and Cousins I grew up with at different points of my life. Some of us took baths together, got spankings together, lived together, spent summers together, cried together and so much more! Some of us met later in life but felt close the minute we found out we were related! 

"Awww sh*t, You're my COUSIN! Yessss!” 

We've also grown up and developed internal friendships which made being related more special and solid. Adult life means responsibilities but love, whether distant or near, allowed us to grow in different directions while maintaining respect and admiration for each other.

I love my Cousins! Cousins are the ORIGINAL Besties and BFFs! I feel closer to some than my own sister. From my faaaaaavorites to the ones I watch on Facebook or hear about thru random conversations with other family members...Each of you, each of us have this unique unspoken bond that can't be explained but is felt when it's time to come together.

This week I felt this unspoken bond when the news of our Cousin...our wonderful Cousin, Frantz Maisonneuve aka @FrantzMai was taken away from us. The pain I feel now cannot fully be put into words but we all know that losing a loved one is like losing a part of you. It's like a body part you don't think you need...but you do. It’s that voice mail message that comes when you least expect it but needed. It's photos, reunions, batèms, holidays, or random acts of kindness that are extra special when a family member sprinkles their love all over it. Frantz was indeed THAT special and always added the sprinkles!

I can't explain it but anyone who has been around him or had the opportunity to soak up his aura must know what I'm talking about. He was the light in the dark, the sun in the sky and a burst of energy when feeling low.  He was like the Best Friend you didn't know you had and made everyone feel like his Best Friend or better yet...like family. 

I am happy to have known him. I'm lucky to have been in his presence and although I'm saddened by his passing, I'm glad to know my Cousin is with GOD and will not stop being that light, the sun or burst of energy I mentioned above. I believe this to be true and even though closure is far-fetched, he left enough love for me, family, (Cousins,) and friends to feel and cherish for years to come. 

Thank you, Frantz.

Tell More Truths or Give Less Fucks

I'd like people who claim they "don't give a f*ck" to actually not give a f*ck by truly not giving a f*ck by just...not giving a f*ck.
 
If you don't give a f*ck, then don't. No announcements, explanations, open-letters, or further proclamations about not giving a f*ck.
 
That's how I know that most of us give a f*ck. Why? Because we spend so much time denouncing the f*ck that we actually give.
 
Don't be embarrassed!
 
Claim that f*ck that you're trying to deny! You're treating it like a one-night-stand you'd like to forget or energy you regret giving to someone.
 
Or maybe you can just say it once? "I don't give a f*ck!" There!  We can believe that! But to continuously go out of your way to prove you don't give a f*ck by actually giving a f*ck enough to try and disprove it is indeed giving a f*ck.
 
...either that or the definition of giving-a-f*ck has changed?
 
From what I've been seeing lately, "Not Giving a f*ck" actually means: I do in fact give more f*cks than I want to admit; and although I know that you know that I know that you know that I DO give a f*ck, I will Tweet, Blog, Facebook, Tumblr, sing, and dance as if I don't."
 
And don't get me wrong...I certainly cosign & endorse the, "we need to learn how to give less f*cks" movement!  Word to @Cthagod
 
However...
 
What I don't cosign or endorse is lying to us and yourself about giving a f*ck when you actually do GIVE A F*CK.
 
Stop it! We see you!
 
Who is going to stop you from caring? We can't get mad at your feelings! That's like being upset at your love for no longer loving you. And although it's painful to us, the actual act of leaving or doing less because of the lack of love is what hurts. But we can't get mad at feelings.
 
And that is a hard pill to swallow, right?
 
But I digress...
 
I don't find anything wrong with being passionate about what you believe despite "haters" or those who doubt you. F*ck them! F*ck us! Do you!
 
But what makes you less credible, less genuine, more thirsty, shady and NEEDY is the constant need to beat a dead-horse with an over abundance of I-don't-give-a-f*cks.
 
We don't need the paperwork! Just don't give a f*ck and move on.
 
How about this...tell us what you do give a f*ck about so we can decide if we should give a f*ck too. Deal?
 
But for now...we know you give a f*ck, we see that you give a f*ck, we are aware of the amount of f*cks you're trying to hide...so in conclusion, we don't believe you and you need more people.
 
The end

Innovation, Strategy, Plan, Success...in this Recession!

My friend who has been unemployed for almost 2 years went and set up shop outside of a company she really wants to work for.  She went about 3 days straight around “quitting time” to observe the faces and body languages of the people coming out of the building.  Then she went back again with cash and a copy of her resume.   

She approached someone she felt looked relatively happy, older and gave her eye contact...told them her story and made a proposal.  She gave them $50 cash to take the resume and promised $50 a week if the person helped get her in.  The person agreed, pretended she was a relative, got her an interview, but followed up with the hiring manager almost daily.   

The fake relative sent emails, went by the hiring manager's office, introduced, made nice...and kept following up.  This went on for maybe 2 + weeks.  My friend's bill was $150 after the initial $50.  (Mind you...we both have "friends" who work at this company who never seem to know anyone or want to go above and beyond by doing research. )  Now my friend works at this company.  The fake relative gave her $100 back, got money from the company for the employee referral, and told my friend she would give her the rest of the money back IF she makes it past her 90 day probation period and doesn't tarnish the referral.   

My friend is grateful, happy and no longer depressed.  How many of you want to try that now?  I have sooooooo many friends out of work or Freelancing random short-term gigs for pennies that I felt like I had to share.  Praying  for anyone suffering at the hands of this Recession…For real.

Claudia Mocha Jean

I'm Swaaaaaaaamped!

 #IndustryPeopleMantra "I'm Swamped" or "I've been swamped."

 Stop lying!

 

Dear Industry Liar:

You haven't been "swamped." You've been practicing the art of appearing busy which I like to call, "The appearance of busy."

You're on Twitter and Facebook talking about how busy you've been, how you have no time to talk and how you have no time to eat, sleep or vacation.

Oh...

But you're at the same Industry events as everyone else, drinking from the same open-bar that you happen to get to before it turns into an all cash bar, making fake Industry lunch and brunch dates, quietly skimming thru social media posts others have made...all while complaining about how busy you’ve been lately.

Stop the Bloodclaatt lying!

Real swamped people don't complain about being swamped. They're making deals, cutting checks, cashing checks, and Tweeting shit like, "So how's the weather?" or "Be the best you that you can be" or "Have any of you read the new book by so and so?"

And if you're so swamped and "busy" making deals and "Boss" movements...why are you loud about it? Why is every other story about how you're "doing big things"?

The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. If you were so swamped, why scream about it?  You're "killin' 'em" in the game? But no one plans a murder out loud.

So are you really and truly swamped or in your living room concocting a story about how you've been too swamped to check in?

And don't get me wrong…we know you're at some of these hot events or on a plane to a convention or a celebrity weekend get-a-way. But then you complain about time zones and how you won't get much sleep cause you'll be busy being swamped. You barely have time to figure out what to wear!

Poor baby!

But swamped people don't Tweet or Facebook their struggles of having multiple meetings, changing time-zones or no time to pack for a trip. They arrive. The end.

And the swamped person is a f*cking magician, aren't they!?! Ever notice how they go to 3 events in one night, have dinner with family, read a new book, take an overnight business trip, see a play on Broadway and guest-Blog for an on-line magazine...swiftly and quietly like a Ninja. 

Another cool thing about the swamped person is they give back. Some how, some way thru advice, a connect, or a quick email on what they need in order to make whatever you need happen...and it will include parameters, guidelines and suggestions.

The fake busy Industry person NEVER calls back but it's not because it's personal…it's because they’re faking being busy. So their excuse(s)? "I don't check voice mail" or "I didn't get your message" or "I got a new phone" or "I'm swamped!"

But swamped people aren't too busy to check voice mail or return emails because they know there's money in the messages.

The Fake Busy Industry person Tweets and Facebooks about having 149 missed calls and 68 messages they haven't checked. Lol! You counted them all during your busy schedule? 

Soooooooo why are you Tweeting or Facebook statusing? Is it Retweets or "Likes" you seek? Or are you passively and aggressively looking for someone to compliment you on how fake successful you are despite your fake busy life?

Let's be real…The Industry is big but the Networks are small. You don't have to front for Social Media.

We see you!

The economy blows, budgets are tighter than years ago, and yes...although some are thriving well regardless of how everyone else is doing, you, my dear are not.

...because if you were "swamped" you wouldn't take any of this personally. Right?

Ok gotta go! I’m swaaaaaaaaaaaaaamped!

Love, Mocha ;)